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Band 5

Some people believe that pop stars deserve to earn more money than classical music performers. Some disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #pop #stars #money #music #performers #disagree
Many see that some celebrities, who play pop
music
 are better gain higher salaries than those who
performance
Replace the word
perform
show examples
 traditional
music
.
This
 essay will illustrate both views as well as
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
 my supporting the former one. On one hand, it doubtlessly believes that those people, who pursue traditional
music
 should earn more money. Because pursuing traditional
music
 as well as preserving the traditional value need many efforts as well as the gifted talent to become
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 instruments master.
This
 requires
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experienced and strict audiences who are in
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 group of age above thirty. These artists deserved to pay more
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their spirits and sacrifices.
On the other hand
, I firmly believe that those, who supply all
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands
show examples
 of
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
 deserved to get more money than ever because the audiences will be the most accurate payers. The most crucial important
characteristics
Fix the agreement mistake
characteristic
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pop
starts
Correct your spelling
stars
show examples
 might have to be shined and
appearance
Replace the word
appear
show examples
 on
Add an article
the billboard
a billboard
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billboard
Fix the agreement mistake
billboards
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 is the sense of
market
 because
this
 is a
short - life
Correct your spelling
short-life
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 career.
This
 is the main reason why these artists expense most
their
Change preposition
of their
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 financial assistance on
market
 researching and developing their performance in the most possibly vibrant and attractive visual as well as the innovative
in
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apply
show examples
client’s approaching.
Furthermore
, after building
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 reputation term and product
releasing
Replace the word
release
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,
market
 musical players might maintain positive images to adapt
the
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to the
show examples
 fan’s
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
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.
This
 step may need more money for their appearance. To illustrate, in many reports, the research points out that the most expenditure is accounted for clothing and skincare procedure in many countries. In conclusion, I significant
agree
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agreement
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 with the more popular the stars are the more income they have got
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
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 some reasonable reasons. It will contribute
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 variety
entertainment
Change preposition
of entertainment
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 industry.
Submitted by trangngo79 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • appeal
  • broad
  • diverse
  • revenue
  • merchandise
  • streaming services
  • pop culture
  • mass media
  • marketable
  • undergo
  • dedication
  • master
  • craft
  • justification
  • rarity
  • specialized skill set
  • elevate
  • worth
  • audience
  • public funding
  • patronage
  • financial dynamics
  • disparity
  • market trends
  • cultural trends
  • artistic value
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