IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
In
this
 day and age, the trend of eating fast
food
 has led to many
health
 problems for
people
. I firmly believe that having a lot of fast
food
 brings a lot of disadvantages and totally oppose the idea that increasing taxes would tackle
this
 phenomenon.
Although
 fast
food
 is not healthy, it has become a culture as
people
 nowadays are busier and
also
 have a tight schedule.
Therefore
, they prefer eating fast
food
 because it is cheap and convenient as well.
Consequently
, it means that these
people
 have little awareness of its effects on their
health
 in the future.
Furthermore
, fast
food
 contains ingredients that are not healthy
such
 as a high amount of cholesterol, preservatives,
food
 colours and fat,
hence
 these factors will lead to many serious diseases like obesity, diabetes or even high blood pressure. According to research in China, the high amount of oil and fat in their fast
food
 is the main reason for the increasing number of
people
 suffering from obesity. Some
people
 said that it is necessary for the government to impose a higher tax on fast
food
 to change
this
 issue and I firmly believe that
this
 suggestion might not be effective.
Firstly
,
this
 implementation cannot change the fact that
people
 would still keep in mind that fast
food
 is the most suitable option to help them save their time for work.
Instead
, raising awareness for
people
 about the demerits fast
food
 brings to their
health
 can settle
this
 problem.
For example
, the government should propagate the importance of staying healthy by having balanced diets. In conclusion, eating too much fast
food
 leads to many serious
health
 problems as there are many ingredients included that are not good for
people
’s
health
 in the long term.
Besides
, there are other ways to solve
this
 situation
such
 as changing
people
’s mindset on eating habits.
Submitted by phuongank1511 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: