IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries traditional foods are replaced by fast food. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, it is common that
people
Use synonyms
prefer
Fix the infinitive
to prefer
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 fast
foods
Use synonyms
 rather than traditional meals. From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 trend
cases
Correct your spelling
causes
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 a range of negative impacts on individuals, families and societies.
First
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 of all, as we all know, fast
foods
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 are made of ingredients, which
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
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a great deal of
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a lot of
many
plenty of
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 salts, sugar, as well as fat.
People
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, who are used to eating these desirable but unhealthy
foods
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, are prone to getting
healthy
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health
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 problems,
such
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 as obesity, high blood pressure and heart diseases. When the unhealthy proportion of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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increase
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increases
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,
as a result
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, it can cause a great burden on medical expenses on the whole society scale.
Secondly
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,
this
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 development
also
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 can pose a threat to local traditional culture. Take China
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for
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,for
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 example, Chinese traditional
foods
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 are
significant
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a significant
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 sign of our culture, many
people
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 consider them as a
culture
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cultural
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 identity of China.
However
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, more and more
people
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, particularly
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation, are losing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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interest
of
Change preposition
in
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 cooking
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
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meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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 at home, because it takes more time on preparing and cooking and
need
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needs
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 years to get proficient.
Consequently
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,
this
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 trend can hinder the continuity of traditional
custom
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customs
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.
Lastly
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, eating fast food case a negative influence on
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the relationship
a relationship
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relationship
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relationships
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 in families, because, family members have less time to get together.
For instance
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, in China, preparing and eating dinners is an important opportunity for
people
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 to stay together and share their experiences after a hard-working day. As Chinese
people
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 eat more fast food, we are losing
this
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 habit in families. In conclusion,
although
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 fast
foods
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 are convenient and popular, they obviously
case
Correct your spelling
cause
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 many
seriously
Replace the word
serious
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 negative impacts on individuals and societies.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Impact
  • Nutritious
  • Cultural heritage
  • Identity
  • Economic implications
  • Locally sourced
  • Social cohesion
  • Environmental degradation
  • Obesity
  • Heart diseases
  • Diabetes
  • Cultural transmission
  • Convenience
  • Traditional dishes
  • Biodiversity
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