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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say the most important thing about being rich is helping other people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people
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Owing to the rapid
development
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, some citizens are richer than
others
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.
As a result
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, some people claim that the major purpose of the rich is to help
others
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. As far as I am concerned, I agree with
this
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 view to a large extent since it may maintain sustainable
development
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 and enhance social cohesion.
To begin
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 with, helping the rest of the community may encourage sustainable
development
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. As society relies on people from different layers, offering help to those who are in a struggle may maintain the production line.
For example
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, providing subsidies to farmers can prevent them from seeking employment in cities and ensure a large amount of food supply that can satisfy the general public.
Therefore
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, productivity can be ensured once employers can receive help from the rich, which may encourage citizens to contribute more to the community.
Moreover
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,
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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 of belonging can be increased. As wealthy people may aim to support
others
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instead
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 of investing in
high profit
Add a hyphen
high-profit
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 programs if they want to help
others
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, social reproduction can be prevented.
For instance
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, equal access to education may be provided to all teenagers once the rich pay the bill for those from poverty. In
this
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 way, children may receive equal
opportunity
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opportunities
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 in the future which may increase their quality of life and
further
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 enhance social cohesion. In conclusion, it is undeniable that helping
others
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 can not only improve
the
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apply
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healthy
development
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 by maintaining
the
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apply
show examples
productivity,
it
Correct word choice
but it
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 may
also
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 reduce the risk of social redevelopment and indifference which may help promote
the
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apply
show examples
social cohesion.
Submitted by hhhhelen.poon on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
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