These days many kids spend a lot of their time playing computer games instead of doing sports. What is the cause of this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

These days many kids spend a lot of their time playing video
games
instead
of doing
sports
due to
numerous reasons.
Firstly
, computer
games
do not require the player to step outside; they can be played from the convenience of their home. Most
sports
are outdoor and require stepping outside subjecting the player to the outside environment which is not always pleasant
whereas
video
games
can be enjoyed right from one's room in a controlled environment. Another reason for avoidance of
sports
can be the risk of injury which can cause discomfort and pain.
Secondly
, these
games
do not require a lot of learning to get started like in
sports
where a player must spend time understanding the rules and hone their skills before even getting started.
For example
, cricket requires a beginner to learn how to hold the bat and the mechanics of bowling before they can start playing.
Lastly
, kids in
this
generation have been exposed to a lot of technology right from birth which has affected their interaction with the world. They prefer to interact with the world digitally not only for entertainment but
also
for socialising. In my opinion,
this
is a negative development as
this
can have a negative impact on a
child
's
overall
development. Participating in
sports
can help a
child
achieve better physical health
due to
the amount of physical activity involved. Inspiring more kids to take up
sports
can
also
help combat increasing childhood obesity as it is proven that physically active children are less likely to become obese later in life. Most
sports
also
require teamwork, discipline, and leadership which are crucial for
overall
Add an article
the overall
show examples
development of a
child
.
Additionally
,
sports
also
develop a
child
's ability to form and maintain social connections.
Submitted by nakuleshj1998 on

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task achievement
Expand more on the specific impacts of playing video games on children’s development. This will provide a deeper analysis and improve your score in 'complete response.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using more transitional phrases can enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
You provided clear and comprehensive ideas about the causes and effects of the trend.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are well-supported.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • accessibility
  • sophisticated marketing
  • addictive design
  • screen time
  • parental influence
  • safety concerns
  • indoor activities
  • social aspect
  • introverted
  • traditional sports
  • inadvertently
  • capture children's attention
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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