IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

#people #companies #individuals #environment #proportion #amount #pollution
Some
people
 think that companies and individuals should get charged for the service of cleaning the
waste
 they produced. I feel that
this
 is a good movement, but I think making them clean up their own mess is a much
viable
Correct quantifier usage
more viable
show examples
 approach. When we try to ask
people
 to pay for what they have been doing without needing to pay for it, which
this
 is, they will not be happy and most likely refuse to pay or complain. I agree on the part where we should pay for the service, but not necessarily with money. The amount of money needed to be paid for the huge
waste
 some
people
 produce is not up to par with what they should be charged. We just need to enforce the policy of throwing out trash where it should be, using
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 plastic products that can’t be recycled, and
also
 volunteer to clean up some trash. The world is becoming more advanced and there are more tools to help us do our daily tasks, and that includes managing humanity’s
waste
. If we can manage to get the resource and creative minds to work on a system where we don’t have to think about the
waste
 we are producing, either by recycling it or cleaning them in a way that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 no negative effects, we will live more sustainably. That just
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be thought more by the world, and
hopefully
Add a comma
,hopefully
show examples
 there will be
people
 volunteering for that. In conclusion, we need to pay for the
waste
 we have produced, but it doesn’t have to be paid with money, we can do a little
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 and go manage our
waste
 properly by recycling it or putting it away in a safe manner.
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: