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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people belive that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue tht it is better to try and improve such situations Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is no doubt that a strong mindset plays a critical role in the development progress of human beings. Without it, humans wouldn’t be able to overcome various difficulties. Some people harbour a belief that accepting is the most effective solution
while
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 facing a depressing situation,
while
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 others hold faith that it is necessary to find approaches to optimize them. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons of the statement and my posture against it in the following paragraphs. First of all, extra pressure will not be derived. If people can get
along with
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 their present conditions
while
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 they might be not perfect, they won’t be forced to undertake the stress of seeking better ones. Taiwan is a salient example.
Although
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 there are countless citizens who have complaints about the salaries of their professions, most of them still tend to compromise since searching for employment can absolutely cause anxiety.
Moreover
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, finding measures to improve the current situation might be disastrous. It is tough to tell what consequences a novel method or plan could bring about. Some mediocre athletes took some new training programs in an attempt to enhance their professional skills and performances. Unfortunately, it could possibly result in depressive endings to their careers. At the other end of the spectrum, some tremendous profits might be given up if an individual always takes no adventure. In order to acquire colossal properties, some investors decide to venture rather than take normal ways
such
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 as saving money in their accounts. Luckily, they might be capable of living wealthy lives owing to facing challenges.
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, specific life experiences might be relinquished. Some graduates are desperately struggling to study abroad. After they succeed, not only broader horizons are cultivated but
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 their job prospects are promoted which
further
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 contributes to well-paid occupations.
To sum up
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, there are definitely drawbacks and merits existing in taking challenges to resist unsatisfying situations. Personally, I am inclined to disagree with doing nothing to improve
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 of keeping complaining. Just as the proverb goes, you only live once.
Therefore
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, I will exploit all my spirit to resolve whatever I’m not satisfied with.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has good logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be stronger and more explicit in summarizing your points and providing a clear position. Make sure to address the topic directly in both the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and provides a clear response to the prompt. However, some of the examples could be more relevant to the main points you are making. Also, consider presenting a stronger and more specific opinion in the conclusion.
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