Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples. Write at least 250 words.

In modern
society
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,society
show examples
we are all surrounded by many things and live in under the assumption that
money
can buy anything to lead
happy
Add an article
a happy
show examples
and peaceful life. While others opine that funds have no relation to
deal
Wrong verb form
dealing
show examples
with cheeriness. In my opinion, I strongly believe that
money
has
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
role in our life to bring happiness. In the following
Correct your spelling
essay
Correct your spelling
essay
eassy
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,eassy
show examples
I will discuss my point of view in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
. To embark on,
people
commit
thier
Correct your spelling
their
entire lives by working hard and earning wages because to buy the needs which gives joy. Mostly some
people
get
drepressed
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depressed
and lose
there
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their
show examples
lives due to lack of currency,
people
who find delight in travelling
Correct your spelling
different
diffrent
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different
countries and having
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
expensive things
could'nt
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couldn't
be savour without having
bank
Correct article usage
a bank
show examples
balance as they can not survive without
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
needs
whre
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where
they
is
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are
show examples
only one source for all
this
is income.
For
example
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,example
show examples
people
who are sick and need good medication or surgeries and
Correct your spelling
required
requried
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require
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capital
show examples
capitol
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capital
show examples
income for
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their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
treatment
thus
it's closely related
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
.
However
,few
people
believe that
money
cannot remove
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
sorrows and sufferings. family members who lost
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
loved ones cannot bring them back with
money
as it is used for buying things and treatment.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
soldiers who lost
there
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their
show examples
lives in war
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
nothing
do
Fix the infinitive
to do
show examples
with cash and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
no value. Family
members
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member's
members'
show examples
tears can't wipe
thier
Correct your spelling
their
tears with financial aid, they all need
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sympathy and support. To conclude, I personally believe that
money
gives lots of benefits to
people
like
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
status and lifestyle. It is one of the most significant factors in
Correct your spelling
today's
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
world and every family depends
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
economy.
Submitted by mummanenikaran on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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