Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

#people #money #factor #happiness

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In modern

society

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,society

show examples

we are all surrounded by many things and live in under the assumption that

money

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can buy anything to lead

happy

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a happy

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and peaceful life. While others opine that funds have no relation to

deal

Wrong verb form

dealing

show examples

with cheeriness. In my opinion, I strongly believe that

money

Use synonyms

has

important

Add an article

an important

show examples

role in our life to bring happiness. In the following

Correct your spelling

essay

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essay

eassy

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,eassy

show examples

I will discuss my point of view in

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

. To embark on,

people

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commit

Use synonyms

thier

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their

entire lives by working hard and earning wages because to buy the needs which gives joy. Mostly some

people

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get

drepressed

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depressed

and lose

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

lives due to lack of currency,

people

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who find delight in travelling

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different

diffrent

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different

countries and having

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apply

show examples

expensive things

could'nt

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couldn't

be savour without having

bank

Correct article usage

a bank

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balance as they can not survive without

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Correct your spelling

their

thier

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their

needs

whre

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where

they

Change the verb form

are

show examples

only one source for all

this

Linking Words

is income.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

people

Use synonyms

who are sick and need good medication or surgeries and

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required

requried

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require

Correct your spelling

capital

show examples

capitol

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capital

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income for

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Correct your spelling

their

thier

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their

treatment

thus

Linking Words

it's closely related

for

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show examples

Use synonyms

thier

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their

the

happines

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happiness

However

Linking Words

,few

people

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believe that

money

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cannot remove

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

their

thier

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their

sorrows and sufferings. family members who lost

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Correct your spelling

their

thier

Correct your spelling

their

loved ones cannot bring them back with

money

Use synonyms

as it is used for buying things and treatment.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

soldiers who lost

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

lives in war

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

nothing

Fix the infinitive

to do

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with cash and

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

no value. Family

members

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member's

members'

show examples

tears can't wipe

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thier

Correct your spelling

their

tears with financial aid, they all need

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

sympathy and support. To conclude, I personally believe that

money

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gives lots of benefits to

people

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

their

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thier

Correct your spelling

their

status and lifestyle. It is one of the most significant factors in

Correct your spelling

today's

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

world and every family depends

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

their

thier

Correct your spelling

their

economy.

Submitted by mummanenikaran on Thu Jul 28 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The plans below show how the ground floor of a particular buildings has changed over time.

Some people believe that limited access to water is a critical issue that governments must solve for their citizens. Others, however, think that it is a problem that individual people can solve with technology. Which perspective do you agree with, and why?