Many working people get very little or no exercise causing health problems. what are the causes and what is the solution to this problem.

There is a tendency of sedentary lifestyle among the people who are employed, which is causing serious medical issues including obesity and diabetes.
This
behaviour of avoiding exercise is attributed by most individuals to a lack of time and a busy routine which can be sorted out by relaxing the working schedule and having mandatory physical training at workplaces. With the rising inflation, the masses are forced to perform duty for a longer duration to earn money.Some people do more than one job to cover their expenses.They leave early in the morning and come back home late in the evening.I know one of my cousins who is a teacher at primary school.After school hours, he works as an assistant manager in the evening at a local company.He has been
following
this
routine for five years which has caused him to become overweight and develop joint problems.
In addition
, lack of motivation is another factor that prevents the populace from adopting a healthy lifestyle.My sister after coming back from duty in a hospital is always feeling lethargic and goes to bed immediately. There are a number of ways to deal with
this
menace of a sedentary lifestyle.First of all, the governments should enforce the working hours for every sector.
Moreover
, companies and factories should relax the job routine for employees.Many departments have started implementation of
such
policies.
For instance
, the executive of
Suzuki
Correct article usage
the Suzuki
show examples
workshop in our country ordered employees to stop taking the cars for service after 1500hrs, so that staff could timely leave for their homes.
Secondly
, the compulsory games period in the institutions can improve the
overall
health of citizens.In a military set-up,
for example
, there is a timetable for the physical activity in which everyone has to participate.
This
model can be adopted by other organizations.
Furthermore
, there should be more gyms at the place of duty.It will
also
encourage the employees to be more active.
Finally
, the problem of a casual attitude towards health can be overcome by regular counselling of the workforce by the psychologist. In a nutshell, the dilemma of a sedentary routine causing multiple ailments
due to
overburdened and overstressed individuals in a society can be managed by providing them with the proper place and proper time for healthful activities
Submitted by alishah2294 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Paragraphing
Remember to break your essay into clear paragraphs, including a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, to ensure the logical flow of ideas.
Linking Devices
To boost cohesiveness, employ a wider range of linking devices and transition words to seamlessly connect ideas and paragraphs.
Vocabulary
Incorporate a more varied vocabulary to precisely express your ideas, while ensuring accuracy and appropriateness of word choice.
Task Response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses all parts of the task, including proposing solutions to the identified problem. While your essay provides good examples and suggestions, further elaboration on how these solutions can be practically implemented might enhance your task response score.
Content
Your essay effectively outlines the causes and provides several solutions to the problem of a sedentary lifestyle among working people, demonstrating a strong task achievement.
Support for Argument
You have used a range of specific examples and details to support your arguments, enhancing the clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.
Structure
The logical structure of your essay is well-executed, with a clear progression from introduction to conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: