Many working people get very little or no exercise causing health problems. what are the causes and what is the solution to this problem.

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There is a tendency of sedentary lifestyle among the people who are employed, which is causing serious medical issues including obesity and diabetes.

This

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behaviour of avoiding exercise is attributed by most individuals to a lack of time and a busy routine which can be sorted out by relaxing the working schedule and having mandatory physical training at workplaces. With the rising inflation, the masses are forced to perform duty for a longer duration to earn money.Some people do more than one job to cover their expenses.They leave early in the morning and come back home late in the evening.I know one of my cousins who is a teacher at primary school.After school hours, he works as an assistant manager in the evening at a local company.He has been

following

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this

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routine for five years which has caused him to become overweight and develop joint problems.

In addition

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, lack of motivation is another factor that prevents the populace from adopting a healthy lifestyle.My sister after coming back from duty in a hospital is always feeling lethargic and goes to bed immediately. There are a number of ways to deal with

this

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menace of a sedentary lifestyle.First of all, the governments should enforce the working hours for every sector.

Moreover

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, companies and factories should relax the job routine for employees.Many departments have started implementation of

such

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policies.

For instance

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, the executive of

Suzuki

Correct article usage

the Suzuki

show examples

workshop in our country ordered employees to stop taking the cars for service after 1500hrs, so that staff could timely leave for their homes.

Secondly

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, the compulsory games period in the institutions can improve the

overall

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health of citizens.In a military set-up,

for example

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, there is a timetable for the physical activity in which everyone has to participate.

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model can be adopted by other organizations.

Furthermore

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, there should be more gyms at the place of duty.It will

also

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encourage the employees to be more active.

Finally

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, the problem of a casual attitude towards health can be overcome by regular counselling of the workforce by the psychologist. In a nutshell, the dilemma of a sedentary routine causing multiple ailments

due to

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overburdened and overstressed individuals in a society can be managed by providing them with the proper place and proper time for healthful activities

Submitted by alishah2294 on Wed Apr 17 2024

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Paragraphing

Remember to break your essay into clear paragraphs, including a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, to ensure the logical flow of ideas.

Linking Devices

To boost cohesiveness, employ a wider range of linking devices and transition words to seamlessly connect ideas and paragraphs.

Vocabulary

Incorporate a more varied vocabulary to precisely express your ideas, while ensuring accuracy and appropriateness of word choice.

Task Response

Ensure that the essay directly addresses all parts of the task, including proposing solutions to the identified problem. While your essay provides good examples and suggestions, further elaboration on how these solutions can be practically implemented might enhance your task response score.

Content

Your essay effectively outlines the causes and provides several solutions to the problem of a sedentary lifestyle among working people, demonstrating a strong task achievement.

Support for Argument

You have used a range of specific examples and details to support your arguments, enhancing the clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.

Structure

The logical structure of your essay is well-executed, with a clear progression from introduction to conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

368 words

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Many working people get very little or no exercise causing health problems. what are the causes and what is the solution to this problem.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

"Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? (Reported 2017, 2018, 2020, 2021)"

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. What are the advantages for a company having a uniform? Are there any benefits of having a uniform for the staff?

. Some people believe that children should be involved in making their school\'s rules. Others say that only adults should make the school\'s rules. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Nowadays many people complain that they have dificulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

The government should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to eat more healthily. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.