IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health problems are using alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their normal doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
It is acknowledged that more patients are curing their sickness on their own
instead
 of seeking help from general practitioners. In my opinion, I partly agree that
this
 is an adverse tendency for the reason I will mention below.
Health
 check on your own can cut down medical cost and sometimes is more efficient than meeting up with
health
 professionals.
First
 and foremost, it is cheaper to do your research on your
health
 complications since it does not include the operating fees of the hospital and the doctor. In fact, US residents annually spend an exorbitant amount of money on healthcare, and the only way to reduce it is by self-involvement. Another fact is that many cultures provide traditional ways of curing a disease which can aid individuals with faster healing times.
As a result
, it is normal to witness people treating their sickness conventionally in manifold countries
such
 as Vietnam or Thailand. In terms of the negative, most pills that are sold online without a medical
doctor
Change noun form
doctor's
show examples
 recommendation are falsely claimed and have not been authorized by the authorities. Some medicines, which are regularly advertised on social media platforms, claim to be immensely helpful for curing a host of
health
 complications.
Thus
, attracting buyers but do not work as suggested. In fact, they might even lead to contracting worse sicknesses as they have not been certified.
For instance
, the sunflower treatment is widely known as a healing potion but it has caused people to have
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
 and cancer. Overall, there is no doubt that more patients are self-treating their illnesses
instead
 of seeking medical attention from their general practitioners. Based on the reasons I mentioned above, I agree that
this
 is a negative development.
Submitted by echip07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: