Some think schools should rewards students who have the best academic results, while others think it’s more important to reward students who achieve other types of success (such as sports, music, and good behavior). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is no doubt that prize
students
encourage them to complete their path and feel they are unique. Some people believe that schools
should give gifts to students
who have the best academic results. Others believe that schools
should give prizes to students
who achieve secondary or entertainment subjects
such
as sports, music, and good behaviours
. My perspective of view, I am with the first opinion. In Fix the agreement mistake
behaviour
this
essay, I will discuss both views.
On the one hand, people believe that should give students
important subjects
for many reasons. Firstly
, they believe that these subjects
it is more beneficial for them in their life, for example
, they will have enough knowledge about life. In other words
, they can deal with conflict problems which will encourage them to study hard and get another gift. Secondly
, they believe that if students
study hard, it will be a competition with students
which will raise the level of students
. Thus
, they believe that this
is the best way to raise their level of education.
On the other hand
, some people think that schools
should give students
who have a great job in other kinds of subjects
such
as music, sports, and good behavior
for many reasons. First and foremost, they think when Change the spelling
behaviour
schools
give them rewards this
will maintain their bodies for example
according to
the research of these enjoyment subjects
help students
feel better and refresh their mind from life problems. It will also
help them excel and develop their character. For instance
, if a student is doing poorly in a specific subject they will still be confident in another. So this
allows all students
to be successful and distribute their achievements evenly. This
will create a healthy and positive environment that encourages everyone.
To conclude
, there is a conflict in ideas about prioritizing rewards for students
whether they should be based on academic performance or other types of success. I completely stand with the latter opinion because every student is different and this
will help all students
with different talents to do their best and be appreciated for that.Submitted by maha.wed on
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task achievement
Ensure that your position is introduced and explained more clearly in the beginning. The essay discusses both views, but the introduction could be clearer on what the writer's stance is.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the logical structure of paragraphs. Some ideas are repeated which makes following the argument a bit difficult. Organize your main points to flow more logically from one idea to the next.
task achievement
The essay discusses both views as required and gives specific examples, which is very good for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Good use of transitional phrases like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' to contrast the different viewpoints.