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Band 5

Essay topics: In many countries, children are getting fatter and less fit day by day. Why is it so and suggest solutions.

#topics #countries #children
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In
this
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 contemporary era , technology affects all the
group
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groups
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 of people
such
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 as
Correct your spelling
holders
olders
Correct your spelling
older
, teenagers and morely
children
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.
In
Change preposition
As
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 a result,
children
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 face many
Use synonyms
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
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such
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 as obesity , eyes
problem
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 and mental stress, etc. In
this
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 essay, I would
like
Add the particle
tolike
show examples
 explain what are the main reasons behind
this
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problem
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 , and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will suggest
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
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 matter.
Intially
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Initially
, many pupils played many
outdoors
Replace the word
outdoor
show examples
games
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,
such
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 as cricket , football and
hocky
Correct your spelling
hockey
.
However
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, since mobile phones
arrives
Change the verb form
arrive
show examples
 many
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 forgot
this
Linking Words
 type of outdoor
Use synonyms
games
Fix the agreement mistake
game
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 because they like to play mobile
games
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 and video
games
Use synonyms
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they have many
Use synonyms
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
such
Linking Words
 small age .
For instance
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 , my neighbour's son has been playing a lot of
games
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 mobile so
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
 a result they become fatter.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , many
children
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
fo
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
 prefer home
food
Use synonyms
 and
hygenic
Correct your spelling
hygienic
food
Use synonyms
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct your spelling
often
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
 go outside for lunch , dinner so all
this
Linking Words
 street
food
Use synonyms
consume
Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
show examples
 more fat oil and kids
easily
Add a missing verb
are easily
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affect
Wrong verb form
affected
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 by their taste and oil .
In addition
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 , every
problem
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 has a
sollution
Correct your spelling
solution
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 in
this
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 case , there are several
Correct your spelling
solutions
sollution
Correct your spelling
solutions
 for
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 obesity
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Firstly
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 , parents should encourage their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 to play more outside
games
Use synonyms
 and should not provide them
Change preposition
with smart
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smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
 ,
many
Correct word choice
or many
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 other
devises
Replace the word
devices
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also
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 .
Furthermore
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 , many
children
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
do not
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 like
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 so parents should make some
Correct your spelling
delicious
delicius
Correct your spelling
delicious
food
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Add an article
the home
a home
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 but without many
ingridiants
Correct your spelling
ingredients
 so they easily
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overcome
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over come
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overcome
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
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problem
Use synonyms
. In conclusion , surve
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 WHO , in many
country's
Change noun form
countries
show examples
 pupils suffered from obesity and many other problems
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because
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 of
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of mobiles and
Correct your spelling
outside
show examples
out side
Correct your spelling
outside
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 so
this
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 is
global
Add an article
a global
show examples
problem
Use synonyms
 so
also
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 school and colleges encourage some
children
Use synonyms
 to start some new
seminar
Fix the agreement mistake
seminars
show examples
 and
competion
Correct your spelling
competition
 as well .
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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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