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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think what children watch on television influences their behaviour. while some people think the amount of time children spend watching TV can influence thieir behaviour.D iscuss both views and give your own opinion,

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In the age of screens, digital natives grow up with easy access to smart devices
such
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 as
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TV
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TVs
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, tablets and smartphones, and concerns have been raised about the
content
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 children watch and the duration of their
screen
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 exposure. Some contend that the nature of
TV
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 programs is paramount in impacting young users
while
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 others argue that
screen
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 viewing time is the primary factor affecting behaviour. I maintain that both the material viewed and the length of
screen
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 engagement shape their development, and parental control is needed to regulate their viewing habit. Upon initial observation, it appears that the nature of
TV
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 shows plays a pivotal role in influencing children´s behaviour. On the one hand, educational and informative programming specifically designed for teenagers,
such
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 as Sesame Street, acts as a powerful tool to inspire positive actions.
On the other hand
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, exposure to inappropriate
content
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 characterized by unwarranted aggression, violence, and inane storylines, can distort
preschooler´s
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preschoolers´
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 perceptions and adversely affect their social and emotional growth,
For instance
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, shows that glorifying violence may lead adolescents to believe aggression is an acceptable method to solve conflicts, which may hinder their ability to develop healthy social interactions.
Conversely
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, some others have pointed out excessive
screen
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 usage is associated with diminished executive functioning. Numerous survey indicates that extended
TV
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 watching correlated with detrimental effects on children´s physical and mental health,
such
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 as a rise in obesity rate, procrastination, language delays, and mental health issues.
For example
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, youngsters who spend prolonged
hour
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hours
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 on screens are significantly prone to experiencing depression and anxiety. In my opinion, both aforementioned viewpoints hold their merits, as the
content
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 and duration of
screen
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 time clearly impact
on
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apply
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children´s behaviours;
thus
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, it is crucial to
setting
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set
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 boundaries in order to manage their usage of electronic devices. Parents and other family members can protect children from the negative effects of
TV
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 by selecting age-appropriate and educational
content
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,
as well as
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 by constraining the watching schedule for school days and weekends and consistently adhering to
this
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 guideline.
This
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 approach helps prevent immoderate television consumption on any given day. In conclusion,
while
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 the quality of
content
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 can motivate or mislead young audiences, the quantity of
screen
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 exposure carries its own set of hazards. I believe that a balanced approach that integrates vigilant
content
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 selection with disciplined time management is fundamental in nurturing healthy development in children.

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Task Achievement
To elevate your score further, consider integrating even more diverse and impactful examples to support your arguments. Incorporating studies or statistics can reinforce your points and provide a stronger, more authoritative base for your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, focusing on varying your sentence structures and transitions can enhance readability and flow. Try to incorporate a wider range of linking phrases and avoid repetition to ensure each paragraph seamlessly connects to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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