IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. •In what ways are computers a hindrance? •What is your opinion?

#people #computers #hindrance #help #world #tools #work #•in #•what
The bar graph illustrates how much four nations produce
coffee
 from 1992 to 2012. Overall, Brazil is the
country
 which makes the most amount of
coffee
 in both ages, whereas Colombia and Vietnam decrease and increase their production respectively over the period .
Moreover
, moderate growth is seen in Indonesia.
First
, focusing on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Brazil and Indonesia,the former recorded
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 1.25
million
 tons in 1992 before it surged by roughly 1.75 in 2012.
However
, the amount of production in Indonesia remained largely unchanged in comparison to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 3 countries with its number rising from less than 0.5 to almost 0.75 over 20 years.
Secondly
, moving on change in Vietnam, which stand at approximately 0.1
million
 tons and is the least production
country
 of the
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 3 countries in 1992, after which the figure soared to about 1.25
million
 tons in 2012.
On the other hand
, Colombia produced lots of
coffee
 following Brazil In 1992. From 1992 onwards, the number slumped by 0.5
million
 and the
country
 was the least
country
 which produces
coffee
.
Submitted by manosuke46 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: