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Writing Samples
Band 7

Sports which are violent, such as boxing and wrestling have no place in a civilised society and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree ?

#sports #place #society
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Nowadays, it is quite common in
sports
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 like rugby and football to involve violent contact between players, which leads to injury. Other
sports
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, like boxing and wrestling,
in particular
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, have the deliberate intention of hurting the opponent. It is highly debatable whether
this
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 is acceptable in modern
society
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 when at all other times we try to emphasise co-operation and team spirit, training people not to be aggressive and not to resort to violence when in conflict with others.
However
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, I don’t completely agree with the fact that they should be banned. I will explain the same in the upcoming paragraphs. It should be borne in mind that cruelty is inherent in
society
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 and banning violent
sports
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 like boxing will not alter
this
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.
On the contrary
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, institutionalising and controlling violence in boxing clubs can help change
this
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. Boys, who would
otherwise
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 be part of street riots can be taught to direct their energies positively. In turn, they can be trained to be better members of
society
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.
Besides
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, organised
sports
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 follow elaborate rules, and medical facilities are always on hand; so, no one should be seriously hurt in a fair and peaceful game.
Moreover
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, even combat
sports
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 offer advantages to
society
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 in several ways. It is an appropriate way of enhancing the health of the community if people exercise rigorously. And
then
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,
such
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sports
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 can
also
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 be used as a defence mechanism in several dangerous circumstances. While women can use it against molesters, men can use it to protect themselves from burglars.
Also
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, by putting taxes on the
sports
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 industry, the government can easily acquire money for social causes. While there are advantages, it should not be overlooked that dangerous
sports
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 like boxing and wrestling, even in a controlled and institutionalised form, are highly disturbing. In conclusion, the prohibition of violent
sports
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 is not necessary for the well-being of
society
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. Controlling the violence and imposing stricter rules would help better. At the end of the day, everything can make a place in
society
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 if done in a civilized and limited manner.
Submitted by miladsabbaghi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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