IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or government? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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These days, private
companies
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 provide funding for medical
research
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projects
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. I personally opine that medical
research
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projects
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 should be funded by the
government
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 because individuals and private
companies
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 cannot afford enough funding for medical
research
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. Medical
research
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projects
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 should be funded by the
government
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 because it is the responsibility of the
government
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. Medical
research
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projects
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 aim for the improvement of the
overall
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 healthcare
sector
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 of a country. It helps to identify which challenges a healthcare
sector
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 is facing in terms of medicine, surgery, treatment procedures, and diagnosis. To improve service in
this
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sector
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,
research
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 is mandatory and the
government
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 should invest in
this
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.
For example
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, in India, the
government
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 allocates 1 billion dollars every year for medical
research
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projects
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, which helps to understand the shortcomings of the medical
sector
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 of that country.
Moreover
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, medical
research
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projects
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 require a huge amount of money, which individual or private
companies
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 cannot afford. If an individual or private
companies
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 bear
this
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 expense, medical
research
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projects
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 will experience a shortage of money, which will affect the
research
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 quality. Those who are associated with
research
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 will not get proper remuneration, and proper equipment or raw materials cannot be afforded by the
research
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 team.
For example
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, in Bangladesh, medical
research
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projects
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, which are funded by private
companies
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 face huge financial crises. In conclusion, medical
research
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projects
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 should be financed by the
government
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. It is the responsibility of the
government
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 to fund medical
research
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 because it aims at the improvement of the healthcare system, and individuals and private
companies
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 cannot provide the huge sum of money medical
research
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projects
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 require.

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task achievement
Expand on the perspectives regarding involvement of individuals and private companies. Consider discussing potential advantages or roles that they might play.
coherence cohesion
Include a counter-argument to provide a more balanced view, which can strengthen the essay's argumentation quality.
task achievement
The essay has a clear and focused answer to the question, with relevant reasoning provided for supporting the viewpoint that the government should fund medical research projects.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are organized in a manner that presents the argument logically and persuasively, with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Specific examples, like the ones from India and Bangladesh, enhance the credibility and specificity of the arguments presented, effectively supporting the main idea.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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