Do children behave better when physically punished or rewarded. Do you agree or disagree.

Children are the future of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Many people believe that they behave better when punished, whereas others contend that rewarding is the best way.
However
, I believe in the latter statement. The essay not only discusses explanations but
also
some relevant examples.
To begin
with, on the one hand, acknowledging their work may boost their confidence.
In other words
, when a child does a good thing, if we recognize
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their work, they are motivated to do more of
such
a kind.
Moreover
, kids are attention-seekers, they actually
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
everybodys'
Change noun form
everybody's
show examples
attention, if we are attentive, they may do better tasks in order to grab the focus.
Furthermore
,
such
a thing may
also
inspire other kids to do the same.
For example
, my cousin's daughter, who is
5-years-old
Correct your spelling
5 years old
,
compete
Correct subject-verb agreement
competes
show examples
with her friends and
aspire
Correct subject-verb agreement
aspires
show examples
to do better, so that others appreciate her
instead
of her mates.
Hence
,
this
is their psychology.
On the other hand
, frequent assaults may lead to dangerous consequences, which
impacts
Correct subject-verb agreement
impact
show examples
the individual as well as society.Elaborating,punishments may cause
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact on their mentality. Young brains are not matured, so there may be chances of either becoming arrogant and violent, which
Correct your spelling
in turn affects
show examples
inturn
Correct your spelling
in turn
show examples
effects society or may get habituated to it and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
the same thing.
For instance
,I heard a piece of news about a
13 year old
Add a hyphen
13-year-old
show examples
, who turned criminal
by
Change preposition
after
show examples
facing similar situations within their family.
Therefore
,
this
should not be the case. To conclude, I do agree with the statement that children should be pampered rather than
hunting
Wrong verb form
hunted
show examples
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it helps them to progress
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own,
in addition
to
this
aspires
Correct subject-verb agreement
aspire
show examples
others to be the same.
Submitted by mk.manasa26 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: