Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In recent times, an increasing number of individuals experiencing health issues are turning to
alternative
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medicines
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and
treatments
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instead
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of consulting their regular doctor. I believe that it is a negative development and
people
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should not rely on
alternative
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medicines
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for various reasons.
To begin
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with,
people
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should not believe in other
medicines
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and
treatments
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instead
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of modern medicine because the accuracy of
alternative
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methods is still not confirmed by scientists.
For
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this
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reason, it is highly dangerous to apply these
treatments
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and
medicines
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to the human body and they may have a bad impact.
Furthermore
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, they may even have side effects.
For example
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, in India, most
people
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rely on
alternative
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medicines
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and
treatments
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instead
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of modern medicine. Not surprisingly, the country where diseases caused by incorrect treatment are most common in the world. Briefly, it is not logical to try
alternative
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medicines
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and
treatments
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because scientists haven't confirmed them.
Secondly
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, trying
alternative
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medicines
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and
treatments
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would not be useful in emergency situations.
This
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is because they take time, which is not efficient at these moments.
For instance
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, if a person develops cancer, it might require urgent
treatments
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such
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as chemotherapy administered by reliable doctors who are experts in their fields. But relying on
alternative
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medicines
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makes these situations much
dangerous
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more dangerous
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by having a non-effect. In short,
people
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might require urgent operations from professionals and
alternative
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treatments
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are not efficient at these moments.
To conclude
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, I am of the opinion that it is a negative development to try
alternative
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methods rather than relying on modern medicine.
Submitted by edzcls on

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task achievement
Work on expanding the development of your main points by including more detailed examples or discussing further implications of the arguments presented. This will aid in fully addressing the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear central topic in each paragraph, but you may need to improve on the transitions between ideas for better logical progression. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to achieve this smooth flow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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