At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do teh advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages =

At the present time, the
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population
popultaion
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population
is
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in
show examples
some countries includes a
realtively
Correct your spelling
relatively
large
number
of young adults, compared with the
number
of older
people
.
This
essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of
this
Situation.
Firstly
it is to say that young
people
are more
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beneficial
benefical
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beneficial
for the society, as there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
an active part of it. They are the inventors, company owners and best seller
autors
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authors
author
of
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tomorrow
tmorrow
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tomorrow
and are
therefore
to be cherished. Young
people
are creative and
adventures
Replace the word
adventurous
show examples
and are questioning the norms and roles of
there
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their
show examples
pre generations. Through rebellion or not,there are here for change and change is what they do.
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Therefore
There
Therfore
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Therefore
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a large
number
of young adults
to be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
seen as something great. The disadvantage is, that it brings
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in balance
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inbalance
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imbalance
show examples
.
This
will lead sooner or later to
an
Remove the article
apply
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overpopulation, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the case with India and China and
this
overpopulation has not only an Impact on
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Global
Gloabal
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Global
warming but
also
make it difficult to enhance the health and living condition in these areas.
Tu
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To
show examples
sum
Change the verb form
sums
show examples
up, there both positives and negatives to a population of a
realtively
Correct your spelling
relatively
large
number
of young adults, compared with the
number
of older
people
. I believe, that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages and
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
this
development is
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
to be
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
something negative.
Submitted by miriamjohannadan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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