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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do teh advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages =

#time #population #countries #adults #people #teh #situation
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At the present time, the
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population
popultaion
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population
is
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in
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 some countries includes a
realtively
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relatively
 large
number
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 of young adults, compared with the
number
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 of older
people
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.
This
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 essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 Situation.
Firstly
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 it is to say that young
people
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 are more
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beneficial
benefical
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beneficial
 for the society, as there
are
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is
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 an active part of it. They are the inventors, company owners and best seller
autors
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authors
author
 of
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tomorrow
tmorrow
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tomorrow
 and are
therefore
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 to be cherished. Young
people
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 are creative and
adventures
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adventurous
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 and are questioning the norms and roles of
there
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their
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 pre generations. Through rebellion or not,there are here for change and change is what they do.
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Therefore
There
Therfore
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Therefore
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a large
number
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 of young adults
to be
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are
show examples
 seen as something great. The disadvantage is, that it brings
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in balance
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inbalance
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imbalance
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.
This
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 will lead sooner or later to
an
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apply
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overpopulation, as
it
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apply
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is the case with India and China and
this
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 overpopulation has not only an Impact on
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Global
Gloabal
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Global
 warming but
also
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 make it difficult to enhance the health and living condition in these areas.
Tu
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To
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sum
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sums
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 up, there both positives and negatives to a population of a
realtively
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relatively
 large
number
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 of young adults, compared with the
number
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 of older
people
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. I believe, that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages and
an
Remove the article
apply
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this
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 development is
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
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therefore
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 to be
as
Change preposition
apply
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something negative.
Submitted by miriamjohannadan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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