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Writing Samples
Band 5

In most countries prison is an effective solution to the problem of crime Some people think it is a more effective solution to provide education for those who violate the law To what extend do you agree or disagree

#countries #prison #crime #people #education #law
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without proper correction facilities. It's a
system
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 that we have been following since civilization and still has its relevance in the present scenario. Recently some
people
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 are demanding a prison-free
system
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, they argue that educating the law
brakers
Correct your spelling
breakers
brokers
 will be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better solution than imprisonment. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement to some extent.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, if we take the example of the lowest
crime
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 recorded countries, they all have one thing in common. Which is none other than a perfect prison
system
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 and strict rules and regulations. Experts
says
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say
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 that fear
about
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of
show examples
 strict punishments
are
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is
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 the most powerful factor that
restricting
Wrong verb form
restricts
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 many others from becoming
law breaker
Correct your spelling
lawbreaker
show examples
.
Linking Words
Moreover
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,Moreover
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 criminal experts
says
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say
show examples
 that
,
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apply
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 every person has some darkest side buried deep inside
in
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apply
show examples
their mind, so relaxed rules and regulations would be an open invitation to
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
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 of
people
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.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, educating violators
some what
Correct your spelling
somewhat
show examples
 effective in certain situations like when
people
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
commit crimes accidentally. In
such
Linking Words
 situations giving
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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 prison statements may affect the
convict
Change noun form
convict's
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 behaviour negatively because of the
inmates
Change to a genitive case
inmate's
inmates'
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 bad influence.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, education can be used as
precaution
Add an article
a precaution
show examples
 against
crime
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, if
people
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 are well aware of the
crime
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 factors and
it's
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 consequences they definitely think twice before committing something wrong. On top of that, these educational
approach
Change the determiner
approaches
show examples
 create a friendly atmosphere in
people
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's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 so, whenever a
crime
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 occurs they approach the law without any fear and misconceptions. To recapitulate, I think it is better to adopt the combination of these two systems for
an
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apply
show examples
effective
Correct your spelling
peacekeeping
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peace keeping
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peacekeeping
show examples
. We can not say that one
system
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 works in all
the
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apply
show examples
situations. So the blend of these two practices will help the countries to maintain
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 correction
system
Use synonyms
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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