Competitiveness is a positive quality for people to have among most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

Human
Correct article usage
The human
show examples
nature of competing with others is considered to be a special trait which brings positive effects to our communities. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will focus on the mechanism of
competitiveness
influence
Replace the word
influencing
show examples
people and bring out my perspective
toward
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
development.
To begin
with, the fruit of competing provides
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
strong feeling of dominance and more motivation to improve. It is scientifically proved that moderate competitive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
within a
group
can eventually lead to overall success. The different backgrounds allow members to make
comparison
Fix the agreement mistake
comparisons
show examples
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
their comments or
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
are well enough to lead to their team's profits.
Furthermore
, the spirit of comparison keeps on influencing the whole
group
and slowly sinking to every aspect of it, which
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
to a beneficial feedback circulation. Through these competitions, our community can eventually evaluate to a new unprecedented level. In my opinion,
competitiveness
definitely brings
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
merits to society.
However
, the negative effects
also
should not be overlooked. Take some political parties
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
example, they tend to compete for their personal interests and sacrifice the benefits of
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
group
.
Such
processes are inevitable;
however
, the best way to avoid these negative effects in order to keep the wellness of our competitive nature is that stay humble and accept every structural
advises
Replace the word
advice
show examples
within the
group
. In the long run, as we focus on staying good
competitiveness
in our
group
it can have absolutely merits over demerits. To sum up,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competitiveness
is our human nature
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and absolutely brings
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tremendous value to our society. In my opinion, we should cherish
this
comparison process and take advantage of the results to elevate ourselves.
Submitted by sfwin100 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: