IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while other thing it is a waste of time discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #art #children #school #waste #time
Art
 is an important culture in the world.
Art
 promotes an understanding and appreciation of the uniqueness of our different cultures, stories, experiences and personal perspectives.
This
 is the focus of debate, and there are two reasons it behind. The
first
 reason is that
children
 think
art
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 most important
subject
 . The
second
 is that
children
 are affected by their impeded learning. In
this
 essay, the possible reasons behind and measures of my views on the following points. The reasons for
this
 trend may involve the recognition that people think
art
 is basically
subject
 for kids in school.In
art
 education, while
children
 are growing up
art
 is shouldn't without in their life.
Art
 provides people with an enhanced awareness of our diverse culture in the world.
By contrast
, destroying the
children
's time is the other problem. It would be a busy learning environment in Hong Kong. Toughen schedules, and massive homework both torture
children
 every day.
However
, there are certainly dangers in taking time off if don’t take the
subject
 of
art
 in the
children
's school life.
Children
 may end up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to readapt to an
art
 academic environment. In the fact, they are only learning the main subjects like Chinese, English, and Maths.
Children
 can not establish their self-esteem and raise their confidence in different fields of the
subject
. But overall, I think
this
 is less likely today, most of the schools involve the
subject
 of
art
, and organise a campaign of competition of
art
, it is overweighed to nothing. My view is that
children
 should be encouraged to broaden their horizons.
That is
 the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives and why.
Children
 with
such
 a perspective are usually the most effective and motivated to pay attention to
art
 , which is the best way to gain a deeper diverse vision of themselves.
Submitted by miutham on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • cultural awareness
  • tolerant society
  • STEM subjects
  • employability
  • rigorous subjects
  • curriculum
  • school budgets
  • enriches
  • complements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: