Presently, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
The statistics of people's ages in a
nation
are very crucial as they can decide its future . Nowadays, compared with the number of older people, the sum of people who are in the young category is in the higher account. Therefore
, I, remain convinced that the drawbacks would be overshadowed by the merits.
On the one hand, the lack of older generations in one country can lead to a lack of experience. Although
they might not be productive enough to work in important posts in the authorities, their advice is very crucial to maintaining or even gaining a better position for the nation
in the world. However
, it is not an easy way for a country to force them to give advice as most older humans might be happier enjoying their retirement day. In addition
, countries must prepare more money for public care as older folks are riskier to earn illness than the younger. Consequently
, the burden of other important posts such
as education or national protection would be lesser.
On the other hand
, the wheel of economy in the country will move faster if they have a high number of young folks. That is
because they have a better innovation than the older. For instance
, nowadays, the economy of Vietnam has a moderate increase as their young humans have innovation in the technology sector. As a result
, many companies invested in Vietnam, and the number of unemployment has decreased. Secondly
, the younger folks willing
to learn about new technologies which is the thing that the older ones have. Add a missing verb
are willing
Although
they might lack experience, due to
their hard work in learning, they can cope with the problems of technology more easily. Thus
, can impact in a positive way for the nation
.
In conclusion, although
the older generation might have some experiences, they risk to ill. In contrast
, the young generations have the energy to cope with any problems in this
era and their availability in the nation
will make the wheel of economics move faster. I, therefore
, remain believe that the merits will eclipse the drawbacks.Submitted by alfathemaster on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph flows seamlessly from one idea to the next. Use more conjunctions and transitional phrases to connect ideas.
task achievement
The task response can be improved by more thoroughly addressing potential disadvantages and supporting your arguments with more specific examples.
task achievement
Work on refining your ideas to ensure they are clear and comprehensive. This can be achieved by outlining your arguments before writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure the overall response.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the economic impact in Vietnam, are used to support the main points.