IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

1. Some people believe that the world’s increase in population is unsustainable, while others think it is necessary and beneficial. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #world’s #population
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Nowadays, a growing
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 has been the topical subject of debate. In
this
Linking Words
 regard, the opinion of the public is divided over whether it is unsustainable or advantageous. In
this
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 essay, I will explore both arguments and conclude that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 merit of
the
Correct article usage
a
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 large
population
Use synonyms
 is more effective than a demerit.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there is an appealing ground- why a large amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 is beneficial. Clearly, an extensive
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 can expand industries which
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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 economic boom. According to a recent survey, China's development has been made because companies recruited new
people
Use synonyms
 fit for
a
Correct article usage
the
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 consumption of the emerging
population
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, a large
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 can have more chances to establish
further
Linking Words
 achievements for social contribution.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 offers strong proof that
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
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population
Use synonyms
 is
necessary
Add an article
a necessary
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factor
Add the particle
to factor
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic and social development. Despite the abovementioned views, I contend that a lot of
population
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 causes the environmental problems worldwide.
First
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,
a
Change the article
an
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 emerging consumption of goods due to
population
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 can promote
a
Correct article usage
apply
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industrial waste and pollution.
For example
Linking Words
, since
manufacturer
Fix the agreement mistake
manufacturers
show examples
Correct your spelling
throw
throwed
Correct your spelling
threw
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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electronic wastes
to
Change preposition
into
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 the sea due to a shortage of recycled
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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, it causes
the
Correct article usage
apply
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water pollution.
Second
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, uncontrolled urbanization due to
large
Change the article
a large
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 amount of
citizen
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citizens
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 can cause
the
Correct article usage
a
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 shortage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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resource and food.
Hence
Linking Words
, considering
sustainability
Correct article usage
the sustainability
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 issue, a large
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
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 have disadvantages because it
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 numerous development which causes inevitable pollution. To sum up,
although
Linking Words
 there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
merit
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 economic improvement, I contend that
uncontrolled
Correct article usage
an uncontrolled
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 increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 allows
negative
Add an article
the negative
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effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the earth.
Submitted by eosmagic00 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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