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Band 2.5

Some believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #money #education #computers #teachers
In modern society, education has become a vital aspect of every child’s
live
Replace the word
life
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. Some people believe that
money
 should be spent on better electronic devices, while
this
 essay will investigate both views and believes that
money
 should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
 on teachers. On the one hand, spending more
money
 on computers can provide
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 learning platform for
students
. If more
money
 is spent on purchasing better electronic devices, more advanced computers will run faster and
less
Change preposition
with less
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 lag.
Therefore
students
 could concentrate better
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Add an article
the study
a study
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 without worrying about computer problems.
The another
Remove the article
Another
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 reason is that it allows
students
 to learn some new technology. Some more advanced computers provide newly developed software, to illustrate,
students
 will be able to use some robotic software to learn
programming
Change the verb form
to program
show examples
.
This
 will provide great advantages to
students
 that are interested in technology Learning technology has become more common in modern society, putting
money
 is
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 can allow
students
 to get the chance to understand
On the other hand
, spending
money
 on teachers allows
students
learn
Fix the infinitive
to learn
show examples
 more effectively. Teachers are able to pursue advanced studies if
money
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 spent on them, so they will be able to learn some professional skills to teach
students
, which can make teaching more effective and accurate.
Additionally
, it can
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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