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Band 5.5

Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more schoolwork. How do you think children should spend their free time?

#people #children #time #schoolwork
Schools are like a mirror in society. There are many
children
 of higher calibre and acumen. In
school
, every child can be motivated and encouraged. Nowadays, people think that
children
 are too much leisure and they should be an endeavour to related on a
school
 work issue. In
this
 essay, the possible reasons behind and measures
children
 make full use of their free
time
 and my views on the following points. The reasons for
this
 trend may involve the recognition that
children
 owe
this
 problem to slow-moving, unenergetic, unproductive, indolent and postponing. Some of the surveys for too much free
time
children
 would level off and appear mentally problems and lack enjoyment, happiness and satisfaction. Why are
children
 eager for much free
time
? Recently, people had been competitive with others, a tough schedules and massive homework is torture for
children
.
Instead
 of
children
 escaping
this
 stressful situation they rather than makes exciting things,
such
 as screen
time
.
By contrast
, the
school
 can tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study, as well as giving them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of student life.
However
, there are certainly dangers in taking
time
 off at that important age.
Children
 are the best
time
 for well-established psychological and physiological development, that avoids many mental problems.
Thus
, the suggestion of
children
 should spend their free
time
 suppose be 8 hours sleeping, 8 hours
school
time
, 3 hours homework self-study and reaming
time
 for free. They should choose interesting extracurriculars by themselves in their leisure
time
 so that they would have parallel healthy physical and mental development. But overall,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
this
 is less likely today
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when academic qualifications are essential for getting
Correct article usage
a
show examples
reasonable university. My view is that
children
 should be encouraged to broaden their horizons.
That is
 the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives and why.
children
 with
such
 a perspective are usually the most effective and motivated,"Self-discipline makes one free", is what the world often says. If
children
 want to have free
time
, they should take responsibility for their affairs
first
. Maintaining
school
 work and life, studying and playing,
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 the best way to gain a deeper diverse vision of themselves.
Submitted by miutham on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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