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Writing Samples /
Band 5

People say that success is 10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

#people #success #percent #talent #work
There is no doubt that
work
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 a key role in the way
people
 lead their lives. While some
people
 say that success is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of skill and 90
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
hard
Change preposition
of hard
show examples
 study. I completely agree with
this
 statement.
To begin
 with,
although
 everyone has a talent
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 something , they think it is easy to succeed
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their field without
work
.
This
 is absolutely wrong , society
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to
work
 for their field which is
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
talent.To illustrate, Cristiano Ronaldo is the best player in the world is it because he is working very hard since started
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
football.
Furthermore
, if you want to
work
 hard
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your field that you have a talent you need to
work
 smartly ,
study
Correct word choice
and study
show examples
 your shortages that will help you to become
Correct your spelling
successful
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
. To continue with, a certain degree of
people
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 hard because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they do not waste their time. Despite, they think they will be
Correct your spelling
successful
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 anyway , they did not.
For example
 , Emre Mor
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used to be
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 player in Turkey but it was temporarily. he did not
work
 and he became a bad player.
Moreover
,if
people
 accept that statement and study very hard for their talented area they will reach success and when they do that your labour
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not getting
waste
Wrong verb form
wasted
show examples
. All in all, what can be concluded from
afore mentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
show examples
 remarks is that
although
 some individuals advocate, I strongly believe
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
 is play a significant role become a
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 in their area.
Submitted by mertakin40 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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