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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is better for young to get advice from older people than young people.Do you agree or disagree?

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These days, it is being argued that it is more efficient for youngsters to get guidance from individuals who are older than them
instead
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 of their peers.
However
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, I totally stand against
this
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 idea because of the big differences between generations and the elderly community's old information. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss these reasons and try to draw some conclusions. The first reason why I disagree with
this
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 practice is the lack of understanding. What I mean by
this
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 is that the majority of the older population does not understand the generation which is younger than them because of the differences which they have with them.
For example
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, individuals in their adulthood, prefer to
risk
Wrong verb form
risks
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 and try new strategies of investment
while
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 the older crowd like to try the ways which are experienced and have an exact answer.
Consequently
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, with having a different insight, old
people
Use synonyms
 can not be as good advisors as
youngster's
Change noun form
youngster
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 peers. Another reason for my disagreement is that the elderly's information is less likely to be updated. Indeed with the speed of technology's progress not only the older
people
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can
Verb problem
apply
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update themselves but
also
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 the younger society
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 boost their data.
For instance
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, every day new innovations are presented to the markets. Unlike the old society which can not cope with new changes after a
while
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, the younger generation is more flexible with new technologies. Take social networks as an example. In the majority of cases, grandparents can not use the apps which are the best way for younger
people
Use synonyms
 to communicate with each other or use them as a part of their businesses.
Subsequently
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, the advice which youngsters get from their generation is more accurate and modern than older
people
Use synonyms
's advice. In conclusion, to reiterate I completely disagree with the statement as not only do older
people
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 lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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understanding youngsters but
also
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 they are not updated. Should the young community act on their peer's advice, they could gain more benefits.

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Task Response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt and its implications. Provide a stronger and balanced argument by discussing both perspectives and supporting your stance effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but there is room for improvement in the transitions between paragraphs. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be further developed to provide more context and closure to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • wisdom
  • experience
  • modern challenges
  • peer advice
  • long-term perspective
  • contextual relevance
  • diverse perspectives
  • generational gap
  • mentorship
  • cautionary tale
  • evolving societal norms
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