In the present day, many students are keen to learn more than the main subjects can provide, while some believe that it is essential for students to focus solely on studying for a qualification. In this essay, the advantages of both notions will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.

There is a growing concern about

scholars

Use synonyms

being interested in learning extra information in main

subjects

Use synonyms

, in other perspectives, some claim that they should study necessary things for their

qualification

Use synonyms

. The writer of

this

Linking Words

essay strongly agrees with the first statement

due to

Linking Words

the ability to enhance their

skills

Use synonyms

and the reduction in stress despite the increase in the proportion of getting good grades. Remarkably, it is vital to understand that learning additional topics will help

scholars

Use synonyms

develop important life

skills

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

knowledge

that is

Linking Words

saved in their mind will boost their confidence and contribute positively to both their physical and intellectual

skills

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

scholars

Use synonyms

can be able to bypass hard questions in the test rapidly and sometimes

this

Linking Words

will build them up a reflex

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they can act in every situation which is helpful for them in the future

as a result

Linking Words

. Another point worth considering is learning

subjects

Use synonyms

that

students

Use synonyms

want will help them release the stress.

This

Linking Words

can be understood that

students

Use synonyms

have interests beyond their main

subjects

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as art, music, and sports which can not just improve their

skills

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

their mood.

This

Linking Words

is because of the fact that learning things that are their passions will make them have many positive emotions like enjoyment or excitement.

Therefore

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

will start to gain no pressure from their studies which makes their studying progress

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

more productive.

However

Linking Words

, certain people say that it is better to study the only main

subjects

Use synonyms

because

this

Linking Words

will make the chance of bypassing the

qualification

Use synonyms

high. To be specific, focusing only on vital

subjects

Use synonyms

may ensure good marks and a stronger

qualification

Use synonyms

which can help

students

Use synonyms

find better jobs in the future.

This

Linking Words

statement seems to be true to some extent but coming

along with

Linking Words

the enhancement in studying is the high suicide chance of

scholars

Use synonyms

, some families are putting too much pressure on their kids studying that it makes them start to gain more stress and they will start to have some negative thoughts. In consequence,

students

Use synonyms

will think that they are useless to their families and find death as a way to release their guilty feelings of being a bad child. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

studying main

subjects

Use synonyms

for their

qualification

Use synonyms

is believed to be a good idea in terms of getting high marks and a positive result in their

qualification

Use synonyms

, there is ample evidence

to conclude

Linking Words

why studying various topics offers more benefits because of the enhancement of

skills

Use synonyms

and the lower rate of getting stressed.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is a good idea to study more

subjects

Use synonyms

than just primary ones.

9.0 WritinggThu Jun 12 2025

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task achievement

The essay addresses the topic clearly, discussing both sides of the argument. Make sure to clearly present your viewpoint and support your points with more examples.

coherence cohesion

Use clearer connections between your ideas. Try to use linking words to make your points flow better. For example, use 'Firstly', 'Additionally', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences are long and can be hard to understand. Try to keep your sentences simpler and more straightforward to improve clarity.

coherence cohesion

You provide a good introduction and conclusion that outline your main argument.

task achievement

You touch on important points like skills development and stress relief. These are relevant and add depth to your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

437 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

students
learn
subjects
focus
qualifications
interests
skills
creativity
teamwork
problem-solving
communication
grades
jobs
pressure
stress
burnout
learning
advantages
disadvantages
education
future

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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In the past, most people spend their entire career working for one company, whereas people nowadays move from one job to another. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Which do you think is better?

3.Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world.However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business.Whv do vou think that is?

Some people do not eat meat and fish. They think that it will better for health and also world. Discuss the the view and give you opinion.

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?