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Writing Samples
Band 6

Prison is the common way most countries try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide the public with a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#prison #countries #crime #education
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It is argued that better
education
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 is a more efficient way to solve
crime
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 than
prison
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. I completely agree with
this
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 because of three reasons.
First
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 of all,
education
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 can solve the
crime
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problem
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 fundamentally,
secondly
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, it solves the
problem
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 before anyone gets hurt, and
lastly
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, the way of the solving
problem
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 of
crime
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 with
education
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 is cheaper than
prison
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. Indeed, much research shows that there is a negative correlation between
crime
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 rate and
education
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 level.
In other words
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, as the
education
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 level and quality increase, the
crime
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 rate decreases. It means, from my point of view, if society can be adequately educated,
crime
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 can be completely wiped out, even if it seems impossible.
Moreover
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, in
this
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 case, the
crime
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 would be prevented without anyone getting hurt.
This
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 is the most important reason why I believe
education
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 is a better solution than
prison
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. Because
prison
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, I think, is not a solution, it is just punishment; and unfortunately, some crimes,
such
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 as murder, cannot be compensated for by punishment.
Finally
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, the cost of the
prison
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 method in countries is quite high. Prisons must be built, prisoners must be cared for, and many workers must be paid for it.
Furthermore
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, the crimes which can be prevented with
education
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 incur extra costs. And all of these are paid by innocent citizens’ taxes. In conclusion, while
prison
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 is not a solution just a punishment method,
education
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 can solve the
problem
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 of
crime
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 and prevent people from getting hurt.
In addition
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,
education
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 is cheaper than it.
Submitted by ac.cankurtaran on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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