IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree?

#societies #people #money
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Homelessness
Use synonyms
 is an issue
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 almost every country. There is no one
solution
Use synonyms
 to the problem.
However
Linking Words
, some individuals believe that financial aid is the most effective
solution
Use synonyms
 to help homeless
people
Use synonyms
. For many
individuals
Add a comma
,individuals
show examples
lack
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 is the root of
homelessness
Use synonyms
. Often, debt, lost bets and
inability
Correct article usage
the inability
show examples
 to pay for needs like
education
Use synonyms
 or medication
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 what
leaves
Correct subject-verb agreement
leave
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 on the streets. It only makes
Correct your spelling
sense
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
 that the
solution
Use synonyms
 to the problem should be
soved
Correct your spelling
solved
saved
moved
 from the root.
In other words
Linking Words
, by giving
money
Use synonyms
 to homeless
people
Use synonyms
 they will be able to pay off what they need and afford
housing
Change the verb form
to house
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that direct financial donations are not the best
solution
Use synonyms
 for
homelessness
Use synonyms
. The reason why
people
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
often
offten
Correct your spelling
often
 struggle with
money
Use synonyms
 is a
lack
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
, inequality and
lack
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
job opportunities.
For instance
Linking Words
, those who were not born
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 wealthy
Correct your spelling
families
familes
Correct your spelling
families
 are less likely to
Correct your spelling
receive
recive
Correct your spelling
receive
 an
education
Use synonyms
 and
therefore
Linking Words
 less likely to find a source of income.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 of colour and lgbtq+ community members are more likely to end up with no job and no housing due to discrimination. In my opinion, a better way to assist homeless
people
Use synonyms
 in
Correct your spelling
achieving
achiving
Correct your spelling
achieving
 a better life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is by providing them with
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
 and a job to give them
stable
Add an article
a stable
show examples
 income.
Correct your spelling
Over time
show examples
Overtime
Correct your spelling
Over time
show examples
, a stable income will allow them to pay for their housing and their need without having to rely on donations for life. In conclusion,
homelessness
Use synonyms
 is a big issue that does not have a single
solution
Use synonyms
. Some individuals believe that direct donations of
money
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the best way to assist those suffering from the problem.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with the statement as the issue is more complex than the
lack
Use synonyms
 of finances. I trust that providing homeless
people
Use synonyms
 with
education
Use synonyms
 and jobs is a
supersior
Correct your spelling
superior
Correct your spelling
solution
soution
Correct your spelling
solution
.
Submitted by Kurleud741 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: