IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or reaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmers #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
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It has been suggested that high school
students
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 should be involved in unpaid community services as a compulsory part of high school programmes. Most colleges are already providing opportunities to gain
work
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 experience,
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however
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,however
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 these are not compulsory. In my opinion, sending
students
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 to
work
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 in community services is a good idea as it can provide them with many lots of valuable
skills
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. Life
skills
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 are very important and by doing voluntary
work
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,
students
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 can learn how to communicate with others and
work
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 in a team but
also
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 how to manage their time and improve their organisational
skills
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. Nowadays, unfortunately, teenagers do not have many after-school activities. After-school clubs are no longer that popular and
students
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 mostly go home and sit in front of the TV, browse the internet or play video games. By giving them compulsory
work
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 activities with charitable or community organisations, they will be encouraged to do something more creative.
Skills
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 gained through compulsory
work
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 will not only be an asset to their CV but
also
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 increase their employability.
Students
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 will
also
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 gain more respect towards
work
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 and money as they will realise that it is not that easy to earn them and hopefully will learn to spend them in a more practical way. Healthy life balance and exercise are strongly promoted by the NHS, and
therefore
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 any kind of spare time for charity
work
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 will prevent from sitting and doing nothing. It could
also
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 possibly reduce the crime level in the high school age group. If
students
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 have activities to do, they will not be bored and come up with silly ideas which can be dangerous for them or their surroundings. In conclusion, I think
this
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 is a very good idea, and I hope
this
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 programme will be put into action for high schools/colleges shortly.
Submitted by omid.afsharpour on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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