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Writing Samples
Band 7

Young people who commit serious crime should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #crime #adults
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It has been a controversial topic when it comes to whether juveniles should receive the same standards of punishment as same as adults if they commit a serious crime. while some
people
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 think young
people
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 should have a
second
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 chance, I believe they need to be punished equally as adults.
First
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 and foremost, it is unfair to the victims who were harmed by the juveniles. The reasons for the severe sentences are not only to punish the criminal but
also
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 to give consolations to the victims or their families.
For instance
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, a murderer only sentence to 20 years because he is under 18 years old would have a strong impact on the family of the victim. They cannot feel the justice of society and may live under the pressure for the rest of their lives.
Therefore
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,
such
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 violent
crimes
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 should carry the harshest sentence in order to protect ordinary
people
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.
Nevertheless
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, juveniles are not fully responsible for their actions and they need re-education, not punishment. It is true that slight punishments are suitable for young
people
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 who made some mistakes, their bad
behaviors
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behaviours
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 are easier to change when they are young. Ironically, it is completely different when young
people
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 commit serious
crimes
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.
People
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 with that kind of violent nature should be removed from society as early as possible. Most of the teenagers who are able to do violent
crimes
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 are fully aware of their actions and know the rules of society.
Consequently
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, a crime is a crime regardless of age. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some voices about being lenient toward the young
people
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 who commit serious
crimes
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, I believe they should be punished in the same way as adults.
Submitted by so163uh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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