IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

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The given table compares various aspects of demographic data from
Australia
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 and
Malaysia
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 in 1980 and 2002. In general,
Malaysia
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 had a relatively younger
population
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 than
Australia
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 and remarkably faster
population
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 growth. According to the table, it can be seen that the gender ratios in both countries were probably balanced. There were slightly more women in
Australia
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 and slightly more men in
Malaysia
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 in both years.
Also
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, the difference in
population
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 between the two countries in 1980 was minimal, at only about 1 million.
However
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, the difference was around 5 million in 2002, as the
population
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 of
Malaysia
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 almost doubled. The two countries
also
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 differed obviously in terms of the birth rate. The birth rate in
Malaysia
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 was almost two times higher than that of
Australia
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 (3.2% and 2.2% compared to 1.5% and 1.3%).
Therefore
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, the average annual
population
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 growth in
Malaysia
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 was
also
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 higher. Another significant feature is that while the percentages of people aged over 65 in
Malaysia
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 were approximately 4% in both years, the figures for
Australia
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 were much higher, at 9.6% and 12.4% in 1980 and 2002, respectively. Overall, the number of fresh graduates appears to have increased over the given period. According to the bar graph, it is clear that the majority of UK students chose to follow professional careers after graduating. In 1992, there were roughly 165,000 British students graduating from university.
This
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 figure rose to a peak of 195,000 in 1997,
then
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 dropped to about 180,000 students in 2002. burying waste underground is illegal in my country.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalisation = the process of the world becoming more connected
  • multinational company = a big company that works in many countries
  • environment = the natural world around us
  • pollution = dirty air, water, or land
  • carbon emissions = gases released into the air from fuel
  • transport = moving goods or people from one place to another
  • factory = a building where goods are made
  • mass production = making a very large number of products
  • packaging = paper, plastic, or boxes used to cover products
  • waste = unwanted material that is thrown away
  • environmental law = a rule to protect nature
  • weak regulation = not strong control by the government
  • supply chain = the steps from making a product to selling it
  • renewable energy = energy from the sun, wind, or water
  • recycling = using old materials again
  • efficient = able to do something well with less waste
  • climate change = long-term changes in weather and temperature
  • natural resources = useful things from nature like water, trees, and oil
  • sustainable = able to continue without harming nature
  • consumer demand = how much people want to buy something
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