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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #money #education #computers #teachers
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Many feel that funding allocated for education should be primarily spent on
computers
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 rather than paying the teaching staff higher salaries. In my opinion, though
technology
Add an article
the technology
show examples
 is important today,
teachers
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 are still considerably more valuable and deserving of prioritization. Proponents argue
increased
Correct word choice
that increased
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 funding for computer technology reflects shifts in modern society. Expertise with
computers
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 is becoming essential not only for one’s daily life but
also
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most
Change preposition
for most
show examples
 careers. At the moment, schools focus on a wide range of subjects that may not have any direct applicability later in a student’s life
such
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 as history, biology, physics, literature, art, and so on. It is logical that focusing more on a useful area
such
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 as new
computers
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 will maximize funding for schools.
However
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,
this
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 thinking neglects the key finding in numerous studies that a wide base of knowledge is more important than early specialization.
Moreover
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,
teachers
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 can potentially be a crucial influence on their pupils. Most adults are grateful to at least one teacher who serves as a lifelong role model.
This
Linking Words
 is because students can connect with a teacher emotionally and intellectually.
For example
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, a teacher may introduce and elucidate a number of great thinkers and writers that later shape a student’s political or moral philosophy.
By providing
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Providing
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 greater funding for
teachers
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,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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simply ensures that more qualified
teachers
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 will apply for jobs.
Additionally
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,
teachers
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 who are passionate about their work and are underpaid at the moment, are likely to feel more motivated and appreciated with higher salaries. In conclusion, those who argue in
favor
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favour
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 of
computers
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 are short-sighted as
teachers
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 have
greater
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a greater
show examples
 overall impact. Naturally, it is more difficult to measure and study the value of quality
teachers
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 and provide definitive evidence for
this
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 viewpoint.
Submitted by kadirov.sattor755 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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