Some people believe that the government Should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience
Some people believe the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
government
should finance Use synonyms
on
social Change preposition
apply
services
like retirement Use synonyms
pension
for adults Fix the agreement mistake
pensions
instead
of spending its budget on public Linking Words
services
like agent Use synonyms
need
while others say Fix the agreement mistake
needs
individually
should save their Replace the word
individuals
fund
during their working years. Fix the agreement mistake
funds
This
essay will delve Linking Words
in
the upcoming paragraph and Change preposition
into
subsequently
will explore perspective in turns.
On the one hand, Linking Words
Linking Words
Although
I believe Correct word choice
apply
government
should definitely allocate Use synonyms
large
Add an article
a large
part
of Use synonyms
it's
budget Replace the word
its
on
public Change preposition
to
services
. The Use synonyms
government
economic sector Use synonyms
determine
Change the verb form
determines
overall
quality of life, ensuring the basic sector Add an article
the overall
such
as school, hospital and roads are available to all the Linking Words
citizen
irrespective Use synonyms
their
income and social Change preposition
of their
Correct your spelling
status
states
. The public Correct your spelling
status
services
are needs are primary needs of Use synonyms
the
society and Correct article usage
apply
thus
Linking Words
needs
proper funding.
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
For example
, Linking Words
absence
of medicine in any country will create significant problems. That's why Correct article usage
the absence
Use synonyms
government
should adequately finance Add an article
the government
on
public Change preposition
apply
services
in Use synonyms
Linking Words
first
place. Add an article
the first
Become
old is normal Wrong verb form
Becoming
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
to
everyone Change preposition
for
however
younger Linking Words
citizen
are participate important role Use synonyms
for
the Change preposition
in
country
economic growth.
Change noun form
country's
On the other hand
, retire Linking Words
adult
are Fix the agreement mistake
adults
vital
Add an article
a vital
part
of Use synonyms
the
every family. Remove the article
apply
Whom
encourage their close ones as well as Correct pronoun usage
Who
providing
their experiences. I think adult must save their funds during their working years. Wrong verb form
provide
However
old people Linking Words
also
are Linking Words
integrate
Wrong verb form
integrated
part
of Use synonyms
the
society. Some ancient could save their money but most Correct article usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
old
Add an article
the old
Use synonyms
citizen
could not save money because of high expenses. I think Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
Use synonyms
government
should provide free medicine and Add an article
the government
treatments
Fix the agreement mistake
treatment
of
Change preposition
for
low income
citizens.
Add a hyphen
low-income
For instance
, Linking Words
in
Sri Lanka Change preposition
apply
have
been Correct subject-verb agreement
has
provide
free hospital treatments for citizens.
In conclusion, after a thorough analysis of the topic, Change the verb form
providing
provided
Linking Words
Although
I believe Correct word choice
apply
government
should allocate its budget for argent needs.
Use synonyms
However
old Linking Words
Use synonyms
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
part
of Use synonyms
the
society. I think Correct article usage
apply
Use synonyms
government
should implement Add an article
the government
Correct article usage
a long
long term
concept for Add a hyphen
long-term
this
problem Linking Words
thus
if not it becomes Linking Words
huge
impact Correct article usage
a huge
of
their life.Change preposition
on
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.