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Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones .why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
A significant amount of hours of the day
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 used by some youngsters on mobile phones . Smartphones
has
Change the verb form
have
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 become a tool that takes a vast aspect of
children
’s time and some may attribute
this
 to many reasons and
also
 argue if it’s a positive or negative trend . Since the invention of the smartphone it has become a tool
that is
 very accessible to everyone
has
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 it was designed and intended to be .These
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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 are
also
 designed to be flashy and
this
attributes
Change the determiner
attribute
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makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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 them Attractive to
children
 ,with
this
 accessibility
alongside
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,alongside
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 is the addictive nature of
this
 gadget , the ability for
children
 to use it for entertainment
such
 as games ,
watching
Correct word choice
and watching
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 movies .These activities can be addictive to youngsters as
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
 not fully developed mentally to set boundaries .These
children
 who spend so much time on their
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
 lag in other aspects of life as they are unable to develop their basic human interaction skills studies have shown that
children
 that do not have
this
 balance become stunted in their development . On the other side of the
coin
Add a comma
,coin
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 the easy access youngsters have to a mobile phone gives them the opportunity to tap into a vast pool of information available on the internet ,so many skills could be learnt with the aid of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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smartphones as the world is now evolving digitally
however
 with
this
 pros come to the cons . In conclusion ,I think
children
 spending undue long hours with their smartphones is detrimental to their development .
Submitted by elizabethogu20 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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