IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve these problems?

#animals #verge #extinction #list
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the
last
Linking Words
century
Add a comma
,century
show examples
 the world has been in constant development and
governments
Use synonyms
 have been taking natural areas to build towns and cities.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 era of development is leading to wildlife extinction, which generates enormous consequences
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the natural environment. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will explain why nowadays wild animals are in danger and how
this
Linking Words
 problem can be solved.
Firstly
Linking Words
, modern
governments
Use synonyms
 are taking over natural zones and modifying the environment in order to build new cities and
infraestructures
Correct your spelling
infrastructures
infrastructure
;
therefore
Linking Words
, ecosystems are being destroyed and some wild animals are on the verge of extinction or on the endangered list. Secondary, crowded and polluted countries are the main cause of global warming, which
also
Linking Words
 affects
wildlife’s
Change noun form
wildlife
show examples
 ecosystems;
for example
Linking Words
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
recent research showed that the global temperature is 4 degrees higher than in the
last
Linking Words
 500 years, and some species are expected to not survive to it. From my point of view, local
governments
Use synonyms
 have to start to enclose natural areas and develop new laws in order to protect wildlife;
furthermore
Linking Words
, they should plan ahead when they need to build
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
infraestructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 to ensure that wild animals do not get affected. In conclusion,
governments
Use synonyms
 have the main
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 in avoiding the loss of more species; and
therefore
Linking Words
, in protecting the natural environment and all the ecosystems.
Submitted by a.carrrollitt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: