Violence on television has a negative impact on children’s behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#violence #television #impact #children’s #behaviour

Nowadays the major part of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

spend

Change the verb form

spends

show examples

at least one hour a day in front of the television. When it comes to families with young kids, it is important to avoid having them in front of the screen when

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

scenes are shown, at that early

age

children can

interpretate

Correct your spelling

interpret

violence

as something common in life. On the one hand, modern families use the television as an entertaining method for the young ones, that can keep

them

Change the pronoun

their

show examples

focus

Wrong verb form

focused

show examples

for a couple of hours. Many parents are aware of the new technologies that can block

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

scenes and shows or movies for people under a certain

age

this

is a

magnificient

Correct your spelling

magnificent

tool when it comes to homes where toddlers are allowed to choose what they want to watch.

On the other hand

, from the

age

of six most kids start to play videogames on the TV, some of the most popular games at that

age

are related to wars and fights,

this

makes them

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

get submerged in a fantasy world where they need to save their character to keep playing and beating levels. A recent study posted by the University of Buenos Aires showed how young people

gets

Change the verb form

get

show examples

confused between real-life and

screen-life

Correct your spelling

screen life

show examples

after spending more than three hours a day in front of the screen,

this

affects their interactions, social life and their emotional intelligence, which leads

Change preposition

show examples

a negative impact on their behaviour. In conclusion, with new

Correct your spelling

technologies

techonologies

Correct your spelling

technologies

improving every day it is hard to keep children away from the television and

other type

Change the wording

another type

other types

show examples

of screens, but when it comes to

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

shows and games it is important to implement a good educational system where they can understand that

violence

is not a way to live or something

thay

Correct your spelling

that

they should be using in their life.

Submitted by a.carrrollitt on Mon Aug 01 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Desensitization
Imitation
Anti-social behavior
Aggression
Empathy
Pro-social behavior
Media literacy
Fear and anxiety
Parental guidance
Temperament
Media content
Regulation
Censorship
Self-control
Critical analysis

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
These days people spend more and more time at work and less time at home. What are advantages and disadvantages of this?
It is often argued that giving kids the freedom to make decisions for things that directly affect them is not a wise choice as it makes them more self-centered; however, others disagree and opine that it can help them to make better decisions in future. This essay agrees that children are not rational enough to make their own decisions and allowing them to do so makes them stubborn.
6
band
You want to rent out a small apartment to a family, and you have decided to advertise it. Write a letter to the editor of a local newspaper asking to advertise your ad on the front page of the newspaper. In your letter, give details of the ad that you want to publish mention that you want the ad to be published on the front page say how you would like to pay for the advertisement
I am writing this letter because I have a appartment that I want to rent out and looking to advertise it in your newspaper. Here are some details of the appartment, it is located in the Richmond Hill neighbourhood, it consists of one bedroom with attached bathroom. It also have a small decent kitchen. Overall, this would be a perfect home for a small family.
6
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Economic progress is a priority for many governments. Meanwhile, some of the local citizens consider other kinds of progress as important as economic progress. I think that all types of progress are equal because citizen’s satisfaction doesn’t depend only on the finances of the country.
6.5
band
in many countries people are now living longer than ever before. some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. to what extent do the advantages of having an ageing populaiton outweigh the disadvantages? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Many countries have more people with longevity now. In theory, they say that it would become a problem for the government because of the decreasing productivity of elders. Some say that it can be beneficial to society as ageing population tend to bring wisdom and cultural value with them.
6.5
band
Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In contemporary times, one school of thought holds that tracking and taking photos of celebrities everywhere by paparazzi for a long time is a privacy offence and should be banned, whereas others assert that this is the price of reputation. This essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before concluding that I am in favour of the former notion.

Violence on television has a negative impact on children’s behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

These days people spend more and more time at work and less time at home. What are advantages and disadvantages of this?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.