IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people claim that it is better to teach children how to cooperate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children
Over recent years, more and more individuals have assumed that learning
of
Change preposition
through
show examples
 collaboration can make children
interactive
Replace the word
interact
show examples
. From my point of view, being cooperative can be an essential factor for their progress. As a threshold matter, kids have to be given a chance to enhance communication. Getting acquainted with others will help to boost
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 energy of theirs. In
this
way
, they have opportunities for being socialized
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in their future life. A more important point is teaching to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems. They might have faced the hardness many times,
first
 of all, tackling the difficulty together has been a vital part of cooperation.
However
, it does not mean that child has to get a solution in order to solve the complexity.
This
 kind of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 has been aimed at being more tenacious and creating self-confidence
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
early in
life
Add an article
the life
show examples
 of theirs. At times children literally don’t obey the rules. Within
this
 time, period, they might be shouting, crying, make their parents feel wrecked. İn order to be able to prevent
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 situation, it is essential to know how to suggest the regulation
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 kids. According to the psychologist,
teaching
Add an article
the teaching
show examples
 of law is a curial kind of child development. Discussing rules with youngsters will help to clearly understand others and originate a theory of mind. That might assist in good conversation with children and their parents.
On the other hand
, the
way
 of teaching the rules must be paid attention to what may affect the kids in a mental
way
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, collaboration creates a better future for them. I mostly believe that, is it the better
way
 due to getting rid of the inhibition.
Submitted by ritm.scastya12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • fast food
  • childhood obesity
  • poor nutrition
  • physical education
  • urbanization
  • safety concerns
  • indoor activities
  • outdoor activities
  • health awareness
  • fitness programs
  • exercise routines
  • dietary habits
  • academic priorities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: