IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is that loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
Ecological catastrophes can be impacted by various aspects, including the loss of
plants
 and
animals
, which most people believe it as the main reason for those phenomena.
However
, others
also
 think there are some more critical causes rather than
plants
 and
animals
,
such
 as polluted air. Personally, I tend to side with the damage to
animals
 and plant lives as the major cause. Pollution affects
humans
' lives widely, particularly in their health, which can create a severe problem for the environment because once it spreads it will be tough to control since air is actually an untouched object.
For example
, high contamination in the city, which comes from burning fuels that contain toxic materials can harm
humans
' lungs easily. In fact,
this
 problem has been rising each year without effective approaches.
Nevertheless
, the destruction of
animals
 and
plants
 existences would result in more severe damage to the environment, considering those aspects revolve around
humans
' lives,
such
 as their daily consumptions, farm
animals
, sources of oxygen, and more.
For instance
, the loss of specific
animals
 that are frequently being consumed by people in some regions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can reduce the average daily consumption because food would be scarce in specific areas, leading to death
due to
 starvation.
Therefore
, I believe
this
 aspect is the most important problem to be concerned for. To summarize, even though there are numerous problems that change our environment,
such
 as polluted air, which can harm
humans
' health. I believe the loss of
animals
 and
plants
 would lead to more serious conditions and dreadful for
humans
 even related to the increased deaths.
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider further elaborating on why pollution could also be considered a severe environmental issue to strengthen your discussion balance.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain coherence. Adding more linking words and phrases could help.
introduction and conclusion
Your introduction is clear and presents both sides of the argument effectively, providing a solid foundation for your essay.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your viewpoint, which helps in grounding your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!