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Writing Samples
Band 7

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

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It is debatable whether or not children's participation in
activities
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 that are enjoyable for them will lead to the development of better
skills
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 and more
creativity
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, as opposed to simply reading. I'm a firm believer that
while
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 it can be true with regards to
skills
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, in order to fully flourish a
child
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's
creativity
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 it should not completely replace the latter.
This
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 essay will discuss how both types of
activities
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 can have positive results in terms of
skills
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 and
creativity
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 and why reading is superior. Participating in fun and engaging
activities
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 brings motivation and excitement to children, creating a great environment for hands-on and guided discovery learning of different
skills
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.
For example
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, drawing papers carefully taped to a wall by a parent, or messy clay
molding
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moulding
show examples
 sessions with friends can lead to great motor
skills
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while
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 avoiding anxiety. Another example is when adults carefully observe and guide a
child
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 to cook a simple meal, giving them confidence
while
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 teaching them to cook.
On the other hand
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, most aspects of
creativity
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 can only be achieved through reading a variety of books. One example of
creativity
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 is storytelling about a world that does not exist. Exposure to these types of abstract topics is only possible through reading fantasy books
such
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 as Harry Potter, or Hunger Games. Another aspect of
creativity
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 is open-mindedness and being able to understand different perspectives and opinions.
While
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this
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 ability can somewhat be nurtured through human interactions, for a
child
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 it will only be limited to those around them.
Whereas
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, reading provides exposure to a wider range of opinions, situations and topics. In conclusion, I strongly believe
while
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 fun hands-on
activities
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 can create a better learning environment, what one can learn from them is limited to their surroundings.
Conversely
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, reading provides a wider range of topics for a
child
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 to discover, giving it superiority over the other.

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task achievement
While you present a clear argument, consider elaborating more on the connection between enjoyable activities and specific skills they develop in children, perhaps including more examples or elaboration for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly represents a single idea, with more explicit topic sentences in each. This will strengthen transitions between ideas and enhance the overall flow of your argument.
structure
Your introduction effectively presents your stance on the topic and sets a clear direction for the essay. The conclusion also summarizes your points well, reinforcing your main argument.
examples
You provide relevant examples from real life that enhance your points, particularly in illustrating how enjoyable activities can positively influence children's motor skills and confidence.
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