spite of the adavances made in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry Why is this cause? What can be done about this problem?

There is an opinion that the state and a number of
people
have spent too much
money
on prevalent
celebrations
in the country
such
as
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
year or other
festivals
. It seems to me that the idea
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is mentioned above
completely
Add a missing verb
is completely
show examples
unacceptable.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
essay will be shown why
this
argument is inconvenient for me for two main reasons.
First
of all,
people
have been spending very much time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working in order to earn
money
and live appropriate life conditions
involve
Wrong verb form
involving
show examples
possessing a beautiful house, car or clothes. Due to working hard and hours which pass for
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
,
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
employers
are seeking entertainment opportunities for leaving stress that they have been exposed in work.
Therefore
, these
festivals
or
celebrations
supply a
relexing
Correct your spelling
relaxing
time to working
people
.
For example
, a white-collar who goes job every and
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
to find
a
Change the article
an
show examples
enjoyable activity
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has a tendency to attend
festivals
and spend
money
on diverse tools.
Thus
, individual expenses
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
national
celebrations
necessary
Add a missing verb
are necessary
show examples
for
people
such
as workers.
Second
of all, nobody would dispute the fact that the state not only has responsibility
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
building roads and barrages or protecting citizens,
on the contrary
also
should support cultural activities
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
particularly common national days. Because
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
of
celebrations
Fix the agreement mistake
celebration
show examples
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
national uniting, the governments are prone to hold
festivals
.
For instance
, 4
july
Change the capitalization
July
show examples
when is
independent
Add an article
an independent
the independent
show examples
day of the USA, has been celebrated by citizens of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
contributing
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct your spelling
president
precedent
presedent
Correct article usage
the presedent
show examples
.
Hence
,
festivals
or
celebrations
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
held by
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
could not be considered a waste of
money
. To summarize, evaluation of expense on
festivals
which are celebrated by state or person is not logical for me
beceuse
Correct your spelling
because
of two main reasons.
Firstly
, these
celebrations
have a perception of entertainment opportunities for
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
Secondly
, the government is using
such
a tool
these
Change preposition
for these
show examples
festivals
.
Submitted by myurt4848 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: