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Band 7

Online education and training is becoming increasingly popular in the business world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, especially after the pandemic, online learning tools and courses have grown rapidly and gained popularity in various corporate
world
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worlds
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. In
this
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 essay, the benefits of learning online including saving costs and flexibility
as well as
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 its drawbacks consisting of distracting concentration and isolating
students
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 from the real world will be present in the following paragraphs. Without a doubt, there are many advantages with regard to e-learning.
To begin
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 with, computer-based learning is cheaper than traditional physical learning. It eliminates the cost of transportation, meals and most importantly, real estate.
Additionally
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, all the courses and study materials are available online,
therefore
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, it creates a
paper-less
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paperless
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 environment which is more affordable and
also
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 beneficial to the earth. Another advantage of online education is that it allows
students
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 to attend classes from any location of their choice.
This
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 flexible feature decreases the disparity among people.
Instead
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 of being restricted by geographical boundaries, not only can schools reach out to a more extensive network of
students
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, but
students
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 from non-developed countries can get the same opportunity to improve themselves as developed ones.
For instance
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,
students
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 from Africa can receive a certificate from Havard University via online training.
Furthermore
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, online lectures can be recorded and shared for future reference, which allows the learners to access the learning materials at a time of their comfort. Apart from the positives, there are some negatives as well. One of the biggest challenges for many
students
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 is the inability to focus on screens for a long period of time.
Besides
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, there is a greater chance for
students
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 to be easily distracted by social media or other websites. Another key challenge is losing the connection with peers. Frankly speaking,
students
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 can learn a lot from being in the company of their classmates,
however
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, in an online class, there are minimal interactions between teachers and
students
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, and that often results in a sense of isolation for
students
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.
Last
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 but not least, internet connectivity can
also
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 be a serious challenge.
While
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 the internet has developed in leaps and bounds over the past few years, in smaller cities or towns, a consistent connection with decent speed is a problem. In summary, as far as I'm concerned, the positive effects of remote training do outweigh the negative sides as it is more economical, flexible, and
above all
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, it helps
students
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 from various nations to broaden their horizons and embrace victory more easily.

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to directly respond to the prompt. You mentioned advantages and disadvantages well, but specifying your stance could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
While the structure is mostly logical, consider sectioning your advantages and disadvantages more distinctly, possibly with clearer topic sentences for each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the overall readability and engagement of your essay.
task achievement
Your points on flexibility and cost-effectiveness of online education are well articulated and relevant, showcasing a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The examples you provided, particularly regarding students from Africa accessing courses from prestigious institutions, effectively illustrate your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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