IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.otgers argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is argued that proponents should put effort into improving the adverse situations of life,
nonetheless
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, some believe that having bad moments,
such
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 as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money should be acceptable for everyone.
This
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 essay will shed some light on both views with relevant examples and explain my viewpoint in the conclusion.
To begin
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 with, hard circumstances can occur
due to
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 poor status in society, and illiteracy, not only does it lead to scarcity of finances, but it
also
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 lets some acquire undesirable jobs for some cents. Nobody expects terrible states of affairs,
however
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, it never goes without teaching a lesson to a human being.
For example
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, poverty educates how to control high demands and utilize every coin very wisely,
moreover
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, financially unstable people get to learn at a very early age the methods to become affluent people,
as a result
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,
this
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 next generation never sees the dearth of funds.
Secondly
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, the dissatisfying job is not a just way to run everyday expenses, the responsibilities of
this
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 job give hands-on experience and prepare human beings to handle big organizations in their field. On the other side, someone with enough knowledge and qualifications does not deserve an unacceptable set of circumstances, as basic studies in any field help you to obtain an appropriate occupation with a decent salary, which helps to economize after looking after all the expenses. In
this
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 condition, nobody wants to be in dreadful circumstances.
Thus
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, individuals with capabilities should be ready to approach new opportunities to upgrade the standard of their lives. To synopsize, I pen down saying that the fact that, people with enough tools, qualifications, and, knowledge should surely do some hard work to improve their quality of life, rather than just struggling for bread and butter every day.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates back to the thesis statement. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to include a stronger variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Ensure that every major point is fully developed with examples and details to clarify your arguments.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines both views and sets up the essay well.
task achievement
The use of examples in your paragraphs helps to illustrate your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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