IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut arts and music out of that curriculum so that children can focus on the useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

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In
this
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 contemporary era, education is becoming more necessary for everyone. The main role of education is to develop children's skills so they can become good citizens of their country.,
Also
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 schools should cut arts and music from their
subjects
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 so admission can focus on important
subjects
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such
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 as mathematics , science and English. In
this
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 essay , I would explain why I agree with
this
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 statement.
Firstly
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 , the main is all
students
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 have a right to education apart from that many
students
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 like to envoke in different
subjects
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such
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 as technology regarding , and physics because they believe
this
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 all
subjects
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 are more important than others.
For instance
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 , many pupils like to pursue biology because they want to make doctors or nurses .
In addition
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 , if the school have any
subjects
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 so many time
students
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not
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do not
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 understand which course is better for him or her because many times
students
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 did not have proper guidance and knowledge about main courses so in order to they all go the wrong path.
Moreover
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 , the school cut some extra curriculum courses from their main
subjects
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 list because these
subjects
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 are important as well to all
students
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 for their development but if
this
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 is in main
subjects
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 list so many
students
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 look at
first
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 in thar type of
subjects
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 because they think that they better in
this
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 fields.
Also
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 ,any time
students
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 choose sports as main
subjects
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 and they all day play many sports activities so as a
,
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apply
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result
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a result
the result
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 they hardly get good marks in main
subjects
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 so it will be difficult for
students
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 to choose only one or two courses. In conclusion , all programmes play a very important role in
students
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' progress but in my opinion dancing , singing and sports as well as important for individuals but these
is
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are
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 the activities which can be
students
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 do after their main
subjects
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 or system so they do not affect their main goal.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • contentious
  • contemporary
  • correlation
  • foster
  • emotional intelligence
  • narrow students’ perspectives
  • critically
  • creatively
  • interdisciplinary
  • introspective
  • integration
  • debate
  • curriculum
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