young people are often influenced by their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

It is true that peer pressure has become common among teenagers impacting their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
in different ways. Though in general, it has both positives and negatives, in my opinion, the benefits of
influence
by
peers
are more than the drawbacks. Those
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
argue the disadvantages of
having
Verb problem
being
show examples
influenced by
peers
point to the possibility of bad habits that can be formed
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
peers
. Young
people
can easily learn dangerous
skills
from the others in their circle.
For example
, if one smokes, it can easily affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other friends, who were not used to
this
habit before.
While
there is always a chance of negative
influence
from
peers
, parents can
influence
their younger ones to choose their friends carefully to prevent them from getting into a trap of dangerous habits in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
However
, I would argue that there are more advantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good friends
circle
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Firstly
, young
people
can learn a variety of
skills
from the others in their group.
For instance
, communication and language
skills
are improved by exchanging ideas with a diverse set of
peers
. Though there is plenty of information available on the internet, it can be accessed faster with the help of fellow groups as they can guide and point to the appropriate information.
Secondly
, there is a clear advantage of competitive spirit developed between
peers
of the same age. They can pick up activities from each other to prove their abilities and improve their
skills
.
For example
, someone developing code to write a game can inspire others
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to improve their coding
skills
by developing similar or different games. In conclusion, I argue that a healthy competitive spirit and an opportunity to learn from
peers
of the same age are more
when
Correct word choice
important when
show examples
young
people
are surrounded by the right set of
people
who can positively
influence
them.
While
I acknowledge that there are some negatives of getting into a net of bad influences,
this
can be solved by the guidance of parents.
Submitted by nkamatam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay could be a bit improved. Make sure your arguments clearly support your main points. Also, be careful with the clarity of expressions. For example, 'Young people can easily learn dangerous skills from the others in their circle.' It would be better to be specific about what dangerous skills you're referring to.
task achievement
Your task completion is generally good, but there are still some areas that need improvement. Be sure to completely respond to all aspects of the task. At times, the focus drifts slightly from the explicit task of discussing whether advantages outweigh disadvantages onto more general discussion on peer influence.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: