young people are often influenced by their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?
It is true that peer pressure has become common among teenagers impacting their
life
in different ways. Though in general, it has both positives and negatives, in my opinion, the benefits of Fix the agreement mistake
lives
influence
by peers
are more than the drawbacks.
Those that
argue the disadvantages of Correct pronoun usage
who
having
influenced by Verb problem
being
peers
point to the possibility of bad habits that can be formed from
Change preposition
by
peers
. Young people
can easily learn dangerous skills
from the others in their circle. For example
, if one smokes, it can easily affect the
other friends, who were not used to Correct article usage
apply
this
habit before. While
there is always a chance of negative influence
from peers
, parents can influence
their younger ones to choose their friends carefully to prevent them from getting into a trap of dangerous habits in their life
.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
However
, I would argue that there are more advantages of
having Change preposition
to
a
good friendsCorrect article usage
apply
circle
. Verb problem
apply
Firstly
, young people
can learn a variety of skills
from the others in their group. For instance
, communication and language skills
are improved by exchanging ideas with a diverse set of peers
. Though there is plenty of information available on the internet, it can be accessed faster with the help of fellow groups as they can guide and point to the appropriate information. Secondly
, there is a clear advantage of competitive spirit developed between peers
of the same age. They can pick up activities from each other to prove their abilities and improve their skills
. For example
, someone developing code to write a game can inspire others also
to improve their coding Rephrase
apply
skills
by developing similar or different games.
In conclusion, I argue that a healthy competitive spirit and an opportunity to learn from peers
of the same age are more when
young Correct word choice
important when
people
are surrounded by the right set of people
who can positively influence
them. While
I acknowledge that there are some negatives of getting into a net of bad influences, this
can be solved by the guidance of parents.Submitted by nkamatam on
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay could be a bit improved. Make sure your arguments clearly support your main points. Also, be careful with the clarity of expressions. For example, 'Young people can easily learn dangerous skills from the others in their circle.' It would be better to be specific about what dangerous skills you're referring to.
task achievement
Your task completion is generally good, but there are still some areas that need improvement. Be sure to completely respond to all aspects of the task. At times, the focus drifts slightly from the explicit task of discussing whether advantages outweigh disadvantages onto more general discussion on peer influence.