IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Today's young generation is facing many problems at school and at home. What are the problems? What can parents do to help their teenage children?

#generation #school #home #parents #children
In
this
 contemporary epoch, a category of individuals are convinced that adolescents have been encountering many dilemmas in their family life and academic life ,and I believe that many of these teens do not receive enough attention from their fosters. My contention will be
further
 explained. To embark
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, many juveniles have been struggling with their family , because many of them do not have strong relationships with their beloved ones.
In other words
, many full-time working
parents
 do not have enough time to gather with their offspring ,and that results in weak family bonds.
Furthermore
, that has a deleterious impact on their academic performance and their cognitive development .
This
 might be exemplified by many millennials who do not achieve high grades in their classes because they are compulsively influenced by their family issues.
Thus
, what can be said is that if mothers do part-time jobs
instead
 , they will have more time and energy to strengthen their relations with their juniors.
Moreover
, many parenting programs should be implemented to widen the guardians' horizons
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and to make them aware of their salient role towards their teenagers.
In other words
, if foster
parents
 have become more knowledgable about parenting they will sympathize with their youngsters' feelings , and understand their emotions.
Correct your spelling
additionally
additonally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, many sons and daughters will find a safe outlet for their needs by expressing themselves and talking to their
parents
.
For instance
, in Canada, many social authorities offer rearing programs for new couples, and that has a profound impact on new generations.
Hence
, not only will those courses educate
parents
 on how to treat their offspring, but they will
also
 make children feel more safe and understandable , and they will boost the connections among the family members . In conclusion, after
this
 essay has manifested the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that governments ought to provide custodians with parenting classes in order to have well- brought up children
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
this
 society.
Submitted by esraaalnahrawy6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adolescents
  • competitiveness
  • self-esteem
  • cyberbullying
  • generational gap
  • nutrition
  • mental health
  • stress management
  • peer pressure
  • communication skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: