In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

#education #employment #people #work

Pressure and competition are the biggest problems that lots of people face nowadays.

Therefore

, there are a lot of people who work hard in education and employment.

However

, why do they endeavour harder than others? Is it a good thing that they always do it? In

this

essay, I will express my opinion. It Is obvious that hard work can make life better.

That is

, in education or employment, studying or working hard can play a critical role and lay the groundwork for a successful future.

For example

, working hard can earn more money, can buy anything that they want, and can offer all the family needs. Those who struggle hard in school can apply to prestigious institutes or find jobs.

Therefore

, education and working hard can get more benefits for themselves.

This

is why some people are studying or working harder than others.

In addition

, there are more benefits for them because of their hard effort. If they always do

this

, they will be disadvantaged.

Firstly

, it has been harmful to their health for a long time in high pressure. So that it will injure their minds.

Secondly

, if they are always studying hard or working for a long time, they will not have a good relationship with others. Because they always think about competition. Other society members, in their eyes, are not friends.

Thirdly

, it is not a good thing for the whole society. Let society become more preoccupied since most of the competitive atmosphere is gone.

To sum up

, keeping study and work status is necessary, but there is no need to try too hard. Relaxing and making friends are good ways to communicate.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Apr 30 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

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Coherence and Cohesion

Use a variety of cohesive devices to connect your ideas. Avoid overusing certain phrases or words, as this can reduce coherence.

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Task Achievement

Ensure the ideas are explained comprehensively. Develop each point with explanations or examples so that the reader can understand your argument or viewpoint clearly.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Genetic predisposition
Work ethic
Upbringing
Cultural values
Ambitions
Motivated
Fear of failure
Competitive nature
Overworking
Burnout
Stress-related health issues
Productivity
Quality of life
Healthy balance
Long-term productivity

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In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

The tendency of news reporters in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing sof skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.