The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. 在过去的几十年里,互联网戏剧性地改变了我们的生活。 虽然其中一些变化是消极的,但这项技术的总体效果是积极的 To what extent do you agree or disagree? 你在多大程度上同意或不同意?

Human lifestyles have been significantly impacted by the
internet
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since its advent. Someone argues that mankind indeed benefits from
this
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invention. Personally, I totally agree with
this
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point of view, despite some of its undesired side effects. Admittedly, the
Internet
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may have brought about some adverse consequences. These days, the increasing screen time has become a heated topic, since some forms of entertainment on the
Internet
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, especially video games, are regarded as distractions to children and adolescents, and are detrimental to their academic performance.
Furthermore
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, many young students may be overly exposed to violence, crimes and other negative things
due to
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the exploration of social networking sites and some media, which can lead to mental health problems.
This
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technological advancement,
however
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, benefits humankind as a whole.
Firstly
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,
due to
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the convenience provided by it, efficiency and productivity are boosted. People from all walks of life
now can
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can now
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communicate with others from everywhere on Earth in no time,
thus
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they have no need to
transport
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travel
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to conferences in person, which can not only save much time but
also
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make them more energetic, and
then
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more focused on work.
Additionally
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, the equality of education has been promoted. Nowadays, anyone who has access to the
Internet
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can obtain as much knowledge as they want.
For instance
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, many prestigious universities like MIT and Stanford
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apply
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have posted many of their lecture courses on websites, and even students from less well-off backgrounds can enjoy these top learning resources. In conclusion, the invention and
wide
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widespread
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spread
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use
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of the
Internet
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have greatly benefited the majority of humans, regardless of some minor
unwelcomed
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unwelcome
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influences.

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments stronger.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the main idea of the essay. This will improve the flow of your writing.
task achievement
Consider addressing more negative aspects of the Internet in your main points. This will show a more balanced view.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is a good start.
task achievement
You have used clear examples to support your argument about education equality.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized
  • accessible
  • democratizes
  • e-commerce
  • empower
  • mobilize
  • negatives
  • positives
  • globalization
  • convenience
  • informational age
  • personal development
  • social media platforms
  • activism
  • community mobilization
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